The Troll

Great find, sir. I'm not surprised by how much would have to be demolished. It makes sense. All of RC and its surrounding supporting property and infrastructure would go. Makes sense. I don't like the idea of losing the pathway out to Clementine's Beach, either, but, hey, some things have to go. Notice that the old dock is NOT marked for demolition. I also don't like the idea of the old path to Pioneer Hall from the bus stop being ripped up, either, but that makes sense, too. I suppose the foot/cart path leading there will now become the main drag to get to Pioneer Hall from the loops.

I forgot to mention in my Mezzo Mix Mania that it was also the Food & Wine thing at Epcot. Pretty clever, the Food & Wine thing. Evil Disney Exec Who Built Such Abominations as that NASCAR Track and the Ultra Boring Winnie the Pooh Ride: "Let's set up additional food booths with tiny portions of food priced sky high at Epcot!" Younger, Not So Evil Disney Exec: "But sir! There are already plenty of international dining options at Epcot!" EDEWBSAATNTATUBWTPR: "Yeah, well, then there'd be more of them! Those suckers! They'll pay for anything! They'll want a sample of each country'

Looking at the color map WBI posted, I'm left wondering, What does 'Resource Management/Recreation' actually mean? And is that self-imposed? But Lou makes a good point. There are many variables we're just not aware of. Who knows? Maybe the land west of RC is too wet (or something) for a parking lot. On the matter of DVCs reaching critical mass -- I tend to agree. It's something I rant about often in my trip reports. I can't help but fear that Disney is building itself into a tidy little DVC bubble.

Excellent point. I suppose we can't knock them for wanting to continue making profits. It is what Disney World ultimately is for, after but. But! I cannot fathom why they'd put that parking lot there. I've said it before and so have you, Andrew -- why not just put it in that wooded chunk of land west of River Country? I do think this DVC is a done deal. It's coming. Those plans look too detailed and way too well thought out not to be something seriously being planned. Let's list the pros and cons, just for the sake of the discussion. I'll start with the cons, as I see them: CONS - Parkin

Perhaps the dam construction is tied to the revived DVC talk? http://dvcnews.com/index.php/resorts/other--proposed-resorts/2480-ft-wilderness-dvc-plans-leaked

Time for another panoramic shot!

OK, it's time to take another stroll with the Trolls! And our good friend and honorary Troll Lou has joined the party! Speaking of Lou, he and TCD paid us a visit while we were on this trip. Make no mistake -- if you don't know Lou, don't let his reputation here fool you. He's a great guy with a great personality and an awesome sense of humor. Very easy to talk to. I like Lou. And you know what? Lou confirmed every word about what I said about riding on the Disney buses. Remember -- the Disney buses suck. They suck! Anyway, our plan for this day was to hit Epcot. Andrew and Olivi

Yeah, we gotta get 'em hooked early! Although I don't think the Fort is having any trouble recruiting new fans! Thank you! It's all meant in good fun, of course. Or I'm blowing my own cover. Thank you! They do have Troll blood in them, after all! Yes, you're right, Lou! Striking resemblance. Well...wait just a minute...

More to come! And I promise it won't take four weeks to get to it, either.

OK...I'm sorry... But I'm back! Sorry for the very long delay. I've been consumed by other irons in the fire. But this trip report has gone too well for me to just abandon, so let's finish! It's always better late than never. I know, I know...I said that already. We last left off with Mrs. Troll and me paying a visit to MK. Earlier in this report I mentioned how we're now big fans of the 900 loop. It's such a nice loop. And how cool is it that it backs up to the grand group camping area? Here are a few photos of our campsite. There was this nice tree right at the back of our pad:

We interrupt this regularly scheduled trip report for a random Troll Thought. A few years ago, Mrs. Troll and I were not visitors of the Fort. I had spent my childhood vacationing there, but as an adult there was a long stretch where I didn't visit. Frankly, I didn't think Mrs. Troll would enjoy it much. But then I talked her in to giving it a try, and, well, the rest is history. But in the interim when I was not visiting, I discovered the old message board and all the great photos people posted of the Fort and, in a way, it took me back. It was how I got my fix. I've wondered it aloud b

Time to be moving along! Time to be moving along! We're still on Tom Sawyer Island. I still have more photos of that to share, so let's get at it. The fort on TSI could actually serve as a real fort in, say, the Civil War. It's got walkways and covered towers: I always wondered about the use of wood when building forts back then. Wouldn't the enemy just set the walls on fire? The TSI fort would also be effective against zombies, I think. So if the zompocolypse breaks out while you're visiting Disney, make your way over here. It's where I'll be. Someone be sure to bring some weapons.

Me, too. I don't know why, but I like it. Mrs. Troll...not so much. Really? There was a fence you could whitewash? How ironic that the two things I highlighted in this report -- the Country Bears and TSI -- are in a video you uncovered! Leave it to TCD's magical Google powers. That video is both good and weird and the same time. The bears not moving their lips is creepy. I like the part where the kids run into the cave and run back out when the big bear emerges from his slumber. Looks like Mrs. Troll and I will be returning in January, so we'll put this on the to-do list. We h

OK, the game is over and the Dolphins won! Hurray! Hopefully this will put a small nail in the coffin of the Bullygate silliness. Anyway, so we're at TSI. This sign sets the stage for the attraction: Now...where's the Bottomless Pit? I've never seen that here. And here's a very difficult-to-read map: Sure enough, on the day I wanted to do my Troll Review, the mines were being cleaned: There are lots of decks, walkways, and stairways: Touches like this really shouldn't be ignored: Waterfalls: A lot of planning clearly went into this attraction. Here's the very cool shaky bridge. So it tu

So it's Troll Time once again! And as teased over and over, I deliver unto you a patented Troll Review of Tom Sawyer Island. Now before we begin anything, I really should say that Tom Sawyer's Island is a very, very nifty, original idea. To think -- in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of the busiest, most popular theme park in the world is a walk-through outdoor wilderness-y attraction that's slower paced, isolated, and completely devoid of any merchandising. So let it be known that I like Tom Sawyer Island...albeit it is a bit odd as a theme park attraction. To me it's very remin

NEGATIVE! I forgot to list in my Troll Book of Grades that Monster's Laugh Floor scores an A! The Trolls love the Laugh Floor! We'll go multiple times per MK visit. Comparatively, how many times do we visit the Country Bears? Zero. Close it down. Move in a princess meet-and-greet. Bobos! They make your feet feel fine Bobos! You can get 'em for a dollar ninety nine Bobos! There not worth a dime Bobos! Those are bobos! Singing this song today to a wearer of bobos would probably be considered bullying and would result in a suspension...and possibly a criminal conviction. Sweet. Pe

Time for another Troll Update. I know you've been on pins and needles all day, excited to read about your favorite Disney attractions, resorts, and restaurants trashed. Nothing is safe in a Troll Trip Report. Nothing. Nothing is sacred. Not tubas, not animatronic bears, not racecars (real or the baby version), not overpriced buffets, and not fancy, over-hyped food courts. Can anyone guess what that last one is? Hint: It's a harbinger for something still yet to come in this report. So what can we trash next? Let's see... Ah, yes! Tom Sawyer Island. Let's head on over that way. But first

Sweet! In every Troll Trip Report I always get at least one "Shut up, Troll!" post. And true to form, we got one in this report. This one comes from Katman. So you volunteered for the Tuba, cat man? You realize that's like trying out for placekick holder on the football team, right?

Ha! Yeah, considering the zillions of times I've been to the place, you'd think I'd know how to spell it by now. Awesome. So where does one get this salted caramel? Yeah, I'm not sure who thought this was a good idea. Starbucks is just too everyday to be in the Magic Kingdom. I think too many people want an escape from the ordinary when they go to Disney. No threat. I'm just saying. Dan Marino had to retire. Joe Montana had to retire. Joe Frazier had to retire. Babe Ruth had to retire. Country Bears, it's time for you to head to the grand storage locker in the sky. You know,

Evidently I've been spelling "confectionery" wrong. Woops.

Continuing on. One objective of this trip was to do a fun Troll review of Tom Sawyer Island. In a recent trip I did a very thorough review and discussion of my favorite ride of rides, Splash Mountain. If you didn't read that review, you should. Go read it. I'll wait. I decided to do another attraction review, and this time I decided to take a road less traveled -- Tom Sawyer Island. Notice I said "attraction" and not "ride." That's because Tom Sawyer Island isn't a ride. It isn't much of an attraction, either. If you're unaware, Tom Sawyer Island is based on the adventures of the cla

What's a zebra dome? Never been. Am I missing something special? Agree! Never had it. It's also a buffet? Indeed. Had to make 6 trips to the carving station just to get 6 ounces of meat. Great strategy! I'll have to remember that for next time. What does a Mickey Ear score on said Fort Fiend Scale of Goodness?

When we last left off long, long ago, Mrs. Troll and I had dinner plans for Boma. If you aren't familiar with Boma, it's a fancy buffet over at the Animal Kingdom Lodge that celebrates the "tastes of Africa." I don't know about that. I'll expound on that concept in a moment. First, let me tell you that this was our third visit to Boma. On our first visit, we were impressed. It seemed there was such a wide variety of new, interesting things to try. On our second visit, the Trolls brought along their entire Troll clan -- brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, etc. -- and sat at a huge tab

I am very pleased to report that I am not dead. I just had a ton of stuff on my plate and my trip report had to be temporarily on hold. I sincerely apologize. At first I thought it would just be on hold for a few days, but then I found myself up to my eyeballs in alligators. But then better late than never, right? Let's get the report started again!

Postscript... Did you know that if you type a certain combination of characters together, this message board replaces it with one of those dumb smiley face things? Let it be known that the Troll is not, repeat, is NOT a smiley face inserter. So if you see smiley face things in my reports, know that I did not deliberately put them there. That is all.