The Trolls Return to the Fort

[DaveInTN 3,247]

Please don't make public threats against the Country Bears in the future.  Their feelings get bruised easily.  I know a certain moose that had to be consoled this morning due to your hurtful words.  Dollar General....I think not. 

[MetalDad 33]

1. The nuns in my Catholic school made me read that book, and it was a grueling experience...sort of like walking across a basketball court...covered in rice...on your knees.

 

 

2. Look at the nerd with the tuba. You know how you get selected to play the tuba in a band?  It happens when you suck at everything else.

 

 

3. Oh, you know the guys I'm talking about. They're really skinny, wear wife beater tank tops, have many instances of "body art," and for some reason think it's attractive to stretch a gaping hole in your earlobe. They should make a tattoo Mickey for Disney. He could have those big holes in his ears. That way, you know, Disney would better connect with the younger generation.

 

1. That's about the funniest thing I've read today, what a great, bizarre visual.

 

2. I know like 4 things, and playing band instruments isn't one of them. I do believe as a matter of semantics though, that nerd is playing a Sousaphone. And now I can't remember the other 3 things I knew.

 

3. I'm pretty sure a Mickey tattoo could get your ass kicked in the joint. My Mrs. busts my onions about how often I change the decals on my truck, I can't think of anything I'd want on it permanently, which is probably why I haven't taken a seat in one of those shops. I have too short of an attention span for a tattoo. And the earlobe thing? I was never that big a fan of National Geographic.

 

Enjoying the TR!

[Katman1356...Jason 1,140]

 

 

Look at the nerd with the tuba. You know how you get selected to play the tuba in a band?

 

It happens when you suck at everything else.

 

 

 

Ok Katman Rant on. LOL I enjoy most all of your rants. I don;t always agree with them but they are always fun to read. You crossed a line mister. I have been playing the Tuba for 25 years now. I chose the Tuba. A good Tuba player is actually hard to find but when you get one the whole band is better because of it. All music is built from the bottom up. If the Tuba or Bass player has no rhythm then the whole band will be off. ANd before you decide I am just defending it because I couldnt do anything else I also play the Trombone and have sang at Carnegie Hall and other venues in the US and Canada. 

 

So before you knock the Tuba players of the world remember this. That thing is heavy and we do know how to swing it. LOL

 

Katman Rant off.

 

And as Metal Dad stated that is in fact a Sousaphone. Designed by John Phillip Sousa to project the bass sound of the Tuba forward for parades and military performances. 

[Katman1356...Jason 1,140]

That's a very good question.

 

But, let's straighten something out.  You're the only one who calls Mickey Premium Bars Mickey Ears.

 

And one more thing- I forgot the proper name for the scale.  It's called the DIT 2.0 Scale.  And, it's still in Beta testing.

 

This is how it looks so far:

 

 

I think a Mickey Premium Bar would fall somewhere in between Steak Fries and Salted Caramel.

 

TCD

 

I would agree with this assesment.

[The Troll 67]

That's it. I'm not sure I can read anymore.

 

Ha! Yeah, considering the zillions of times I've been to the place, you'd think I'd know how to spell it by now.

 

That's a very good question.

 

But, let's straighten something out.  You're the only one who calls Mickey Premium Bars Mickey Ears.

 

And one more thing- I forgot the proper name for the scale.  It's called the DIT 2.0 Scale.  And, it's still in Beta testing.

 

This is how it looks so far:

 

 

I think a Mickey Premium Bar would fall somewhere in between Steak Fries and Salted Caramel.

 

TCD

 

Awesome. So where does one get this salted caramel?

 

 This is exactly what the inside of the Main Street Starbucks has looked like every time I've passed by it since it has opened.

 

More employees than customers.

 

The Bakery used to be busy the entire time the MK was open- no matter what time of day.

 

It was a great place to grab a quick snack and grab a table and chairs and enjoy it.

 

Now it's just a big waste of space.

 

I hope someone got fired over this.  But, if someone was fired- it probably wasn't a Disney employee- I imagine Disney got its bag of cash up front. 

 

TCD

 

Yeah, I'm not sure who thought this was a good idea. Starbucks is just too everyday to be in the Magic Kingdom. I think too many people want an escape from the ordinary when they go to Disney.

 

Please don't make public threats against the Country Bears in the future.  Their feelings get bruised easily.  I know a certain moose that had to be consoled this morning due to your hurtful words.  Dollar General....I think not. 

 

No threat. I'm just saying. Dan Marino had to retire. Joe Montana had to retire. Joe Frazier had to retire. Babe Ruth had to retire.

 

Country Bears, it's time for you to head to the grand storage locker in the sky.

 

You know, that place where Mr. Toad and the FWRR are enjoying their retirement.

 

1. That's about the funniest thing I've read today, what a great, bizarre visual.

 

2. I know like 4 things, and playing band instruments isn't one of them. I do believe as a matter of semantics though, that nerd is playing a Sousaphone. And now I can't remember the other 3 things I knew.

 

3. I'm pretty sure a Mickey tattoo could get your ass kicked in the joint. My Mrs. busts my onions about how often I change the decals on my truck, I can't think of anything I'd want on it permanently, which is probably why I haven't taken a seat in one of those shops. I have too short of an attention span for a tattoo. And the earlobe thing? I was never that big a fan of National Geographic.

 

Enjoying the TR!

 

Thanks for reading along! I thought that thing was a tuba. See? That proves I'm not a nerd. I'm cool, like Fonzie. I can make jukeboxes play my favorite song just by hitting them with my fist. I might also jump a shark on water skis while wearing a leather jacket.

[The Troll 67]

Ok Katman Rant on. LOL I enjoy most all of your rants. I don;t always agree with them but they are always fun to read. You crossed a line mister. I have been playing the Tuba for 25 years now. I chose the Tuba. A good Tuba player is actually hard to find but when you get one the whole band is better because of it. All music is built from the bottom up. If the Tuba or Bass player has no rhythm then the whole band will be off. ANd before you decide I am just defending it because I couldnt do anything else I also play the Trombone and have sang at Carnegie Hall and other venues in the US and Canada. 

 

So before you knock the Tuba players of the world remember this. That thing is heavy and we do know how to swing it. LOL

 

Katman Rant off.

 

And as Metal Dad stated that is in fact a Sousaphone. Designed by John Phillip Sousa to project the bass sound of the Tuba forward for parades and military performances. 

 

Sweet! In every Troll Trip Report I always get at least one "Shut up, Troll!" post. And true to form, we got one in this report. This one comes from Katman.

 

So you volunteered for the Tuba, cat man? You realize that's like trying out for placekick holder on the football team, right?

[momof3kids-Yvonne 594]

At my son's last football game, the opposing team's marching band and drill team performed during half time. During one number their tuba player played while riding a bike. It was pretty impressive.

[The Troll 67]

Time for another Troll Update. I know you've been on pins and needles all day, excited to read about your favorite Disney attractions, resorts, and restaurants trashed. Nothing is safe in a Troll Trip Report. Nothing. Nothing is sacred. Not tubas, not animatronic bears, not racecars (real or the baby version), not overpriced buffets, and not fancy, over-hyped food courts.

 

Can anyone guess what that last one is? Hint: It's a harbinger for something still yet to come in this report.

 

So what can we trash next? Let's see...

 

Ah, yes! Tom Sawyer Island. Let's head on over that way.

 

But first, Mrs. Troll wanted to make a pitstop of a chocolate soft serve ice cream. So we decided to cut through to Fantasy Land.

 

You're probably already aware of this, but if not, there's a nifty shortcut to Fantasy Land from the spoke in front of the castle. The shortcut is a walking path that cuts right up against the left side of the castle. The path runs adjacent to the waffle sandwich shack:

 

 

If you haven't tried a waffle sandwich yet, what are you waiting for? The waffle sandwiches get an A+ in the Troll Book of Grades. And that's some pretty exclusive company. Only attractions such as Splash Mountain, 'Ohana, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, and the Wilderness Lodge rate an A+ in the Troll Book of Grades.

 

I don't give away good ratings frivolously.

 

You've probably gathered that by now.

 

Anyway, we're walking down the shortcut path to Fantasy Land:

 

There's a smoke pit along the way, if you really insist on paying Big Tobacco to kill you:

 

 

Suckers.

 

Here's a cool picture...with a crane ruining it:

 

 

Soooo...let me get this straight -- is that crane there to put Christmas crap on the castle? Or are they using it to build the new Fantasy Land stuff? I think it's to put Christmas decorations on the castle for Mickey's Very Pricey Christmas Party, which means they're marring my view of the castle to benefit the Christmas party marks. I want a discount, Mr...who's the CEO of Disney now? I don't know. But someone owes me a refund.

 

TCD goes to that Christmas party. So I blame him. TCD, you owe me a refund. I know you like cranes and all, but get your crappy crane out of my view.

 

Continuing on:

 

 

Let's see...is there anything I can rant about in that photo above? Hmmm...no...not really. Nothing except the fact that that old dude didn't dress himself very well today. What is that, a guyabera with 

cutoff jeans and velcro bobo sneakers?

 

What's a guyabera, you ask? What are bobo sneakers, you ask? Well, you'll have to ask Mr. Google, cuz I ain't tellin'.

 

Anyway, clearly the dude frequently enjoys the senior citizen discount at Goodwill.

 

No, I'm not making that up. Such a thing does exist. I think it's called Senior Citizen Happy Hour or something like that.

 

Hey, is it just me, or does this Fantasy Land expansion thing look just...well...unfinished?

 

 

It's like, you know, where's the rest of it? What are those castle walls just standing there in the middle of the open like that for? And they need to hurry up and get that Big Thunder Railroad Ripoff Seven Dwarfs Mine Car ride done. I mean, all that time for this big, heralded expansion and we get a whole one new ride out of it? And the new ride is Little Mermaid, which is for four year old little girls. Come on, Disney! I want pillaging pirates and drunk miners pounding back shots of hard booze in a bathtub and graveyard diggers who starve their dogs and men locked in prison cells with the prison deliberately set on fire and elected town officials being water boarded and women being sold into the sex trade and foxes and bears being eaten alive by alligators!

 

Fun stuff!

 

Not little girl, happy, happy, part of your world crap.

 

I mean, trust me, Ariel, you don't want to be part of our world. Things are a lot better under the sea. You know, why didn't Ariel sell her voice to turn the dude into a merman instead of her turning herself human?

 

I wonder how many people read all this and think, "What the hell is this guy rambling about?! This doesn't make any sense!"

 

Anyway, where were we? Oh, yeah. On our way to get ice cream before Tom Sawyer Island.

 

Speaking of that Seven Dwarfs (Dwarves?) roller coaster, here's a photo:

 

 

I'm sure it's much further along by now.

 

It better be good.

 

Finally we made it to the ice cream window:

 

 

The lady who took our order wasn't up to Disney standards. There used to be a time when all new Disney employees needed to go to two weeks of customer service training.

 

I think they need to get back to that.

 

When we walked up to the window, the lady just stared at us, clearly communicating to us that it was our privilege that she was there to take our order. After all, you see, if she wasn't there offering up her valuable time and efforts, we wouldn't get to enjoy delicious Disney ice cream. So it was incumbent on Mrs. Troll and me, you see, to greet her and show her how much we appreciated her hard efforts.

 

You see this more and more these days. You go up to McDonald's, get to the front of the line, and then the girl just stares at you with 'tude.

 

Anyway, so here we are, enjoying our ice cream:

 

 

Only problem -- Mrs. Troll's ice cream was not sweet enough for her. When you're as sweet a human being as Mrs. Troll, ice cream and cotton candy just can't compare.

 

Check this out:

 

 

Many things to comment on here. First, notice the princess in shades. She doesn't look happy. Princesses are not allowed to cry.

 

Next, are those long pants that are too short or short pants that are too long?

 

And check out the dude in blue. I mean, dude, I appreciate your attempts this morning to make your clothes really, really match, but the terrible irony is, the blue of your shorts clashes with the blue of your shirt.

 

Oh, yeah -- here's something else we got with the Fantasy Land expansion:

 

 

A bathroom.

 

And some picnic tables.

 

In case, you know, if you want to pay $90 per day to sit down.

 

OK, up next, we make it to Tom Sawyer Island.

 

I promise.

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

 

Awesome. So where does one get this salted caramel?

 

 

 

They are available at the Karamell-Küche store at the Germany pavilion in Epcot (and you though spelling Confectionary was hard).

 

If you want to know more: http://disneyparks.disney.go.com/blog/2013/10/ten-delicious-reasons-to-visit-karamell-kuche-this-october-in-germany-pavilion-at-epcot/

  

 

At my son's last football game, the opposing team's marching band and drill team performed during half time. During one number their tuba player played while riding a bike. It was pretty impressive.

 

Pretty impressive.

 

But also sad.

 

There's a kid who peaked early.  How can he ever do anything in the rest of his life which could top that?

 

 

Let's see...is there anything I can rant about in that photo above? Hmmm...no...not really. Nothing except the fact that that old dude didn't dress himself very well today. What is that, a guyabera with 

cutoff jeans and velcro bobo sneakers?

 

 

Bobo's?  Wow, that's a blast from the past.

 

Since my parents thought it was appropriate to buy our clothes from Sears, Roebuck & Co, I wore Bobo's for a brief period of time.

 

I believe, if given enough time, and perhaps a few beers, I could recall the lyrics to the song about Bobo's that used to be sung at Memorial Junior High.

 

TCD

[Travisma 1,317]

 

There's so much other crap that can be gotten rid of...why the bakery? You know, like the weird, creepy Country Bear thing. "There was blood on the saddle..." Is anyone in Disney management actually aware that that "attraction" is still turned on? I mean, the Country Bear building would make one fine Dollar General. After all, they jam Dollar Generals in any abandoned building imaginable. I hear that the Silver Dome is being turned into one.

 

===================================================================================================

 

Now you need to stop picking on Country Bear, the greatest Disney Show ever made!

 

And what's up with Dollar General?

 

Everyone knows that the place to be is a Dollar Tree!  There aren't any that are close to WDW, so the Magic Kingdom would be a great place for one.  Maybe they could stick one in the Meadow Trading Post also and get rid of the overpriced junk they now have.  And then they could rename it the Ten Dollar Tree!

 

So let's remove the Monster's Inc Laugh Floor and replace it with a Dollar Tree, McDonalds, and Taco bell and leave Country Bear alone !

 

Great pictures, and by the way, most Goodwills in Florida don't have the senior discount.  The Orlando ones do, but not the "Suncoast" ones or the ones further south.

 

[MetalDad 33]

I'm betting that young ice cream vendor would've given you much higher priority had you texted or instagrammed. It seems that is the only way to achieve interpersonal communication any more.

 

Met my BIL's new girlfriend the other day. She sat in my house for a few hours, not saying a word, just staring at the anti-social gadget in her hand. then got up and went to work at a local fast food place, I'm sure she's a fireball behind the register.

[DaveInTN 3,247]

I'm glad you understand the truth about the Ariel ride.  Despite your misconceptions regarding the Country Bears. 

[The Troll 67]

 

 

So let's remove the Monster's Inc Laugh Floor and replace it with a Dollar Tree, McDonalds, and Taco bell and leave Country Bear alone !

 

 

 

NEGATIVE! I forgot to list in my Troll Book of Grades that Monster's Laugh Floor scores an A! The Trolls love the Laugh Floor! We'll go multiple times per MK visit. Comparatively, how many times do we visit the Country Bears?

Zero.

 

Close it down. Move in a princess meet-and-greet.

 

Bobo's?  Wow, that's a blast from the past.

 

Since my parents thought it was appropriate to buy our clothes from Sears, Roebuck & Co, I wore Bobo's for a brief period of time.

 

I believe, if given enough time, and perhaps a few beers, I could recall the lyrics to the song about Bobo's that used to be sung at Memorial Junior High.

 

TCD

 

 

Bobos!

They make your feet feel fine

Bobos!

You can get 'em for a dollar ninety nine

Bobos!

There not worth a dime

Bobos!

Those are bobos!

 

Singing this song today to a wearer of bobos would probably be considered bullying and would result in a suspension...and possibly a criminal conviction.

 

I'm betting that young ice cream vendor would've given you much higher priority had you texted or instagrammed. It seems that is the only way to achieve interpersonal communication any more.

 

Met my BIL's new girlfriend the other day. She sat in my house for a few hours, not saying a word, just staring at the anti-social gadget in her hand. then got up and went to work at a local fast food place, I'm sure she's a fireball behind the register.

 

Sweet. People rock.

 

I'm glad you understand the truth about the Ariel ride.  Despite your misconceptions regarding the Country Bears. 

 

The Ariel ride sucks...but I'd much sooner go on Ariel than the bears.

[The Troll 67]

So it's Troll Time once again!

 

And as teased over and over, I deliver unto you a patented Troll Review of Tom Sawyer Island.

 

Now before we begin anything, I really should say that Tom Sawyer's Island is a very, very nifty, original idea. To think -- in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of the busiest, most popular theme park in the world is a walk-through outdoor wilderness-y attraction that's slower paced, isolated, and completely devoid of any merchandising. So let it be known that I like Tom Sawyer Island...albeit it is a bit odd as a theme park attraction.

 

To me it's very reminiscent of Discovery Island.

 

Evidently Mr. Disney liked islands.

 

One thing very telling about TSI, however, is this:

 

 

As I understand it, Aunt Polly's actually served real food once. But, as I understand it, it's been "seasonally closed" for a long time now. And that's what's so telling -- the food joint wasn't exposed to enough foot traffic to be profitable.

 

Which means TSI doesn't get many visitors.

 

You have to ride a river raft over to the island. That alone is pretty doggone cool. I'm surprised the latter day Disney execs haven't done away with that concept and replaced it with a simple foot bridge.

 

The raft dumps you off at a nice landing. Here we are headed toward the island from the landing. Note: I don not know who that dork in the blue shirt is:

 

 

This windmall is cool:

 

 

But isn't it out of place? That is, the story of Tom Sawyer took place in Missouri. I don't think there are any windmills like this in Missouri.

 

But I guess I could be wrong.

 

Speaking of the story of Tom Sawyer, it goes like this. A boy named Tom Sawyer and his friend Huck Finn go to a cemetery to try to cure some warts. There, they witness a murder committed by a Native American named Injun Joe. While looking for treasure on an island one day, they witness Injun Joe and a confederate digging up a box of gold coins. They get lost in some caves, where they accidentally discover is Injun Joe's hideout. They get out and tell their parents about Injun Joe, so Tom's girlfriend's father boards up the cave, causing Injun Joe to starve to death.

 

The end.

 

I'm not making that up.

 

That's the story.

 

That's the story nuns made me read.

 

Injun Joe, a "half breed," according to the book, is not only the villain, he is left to starve and die a most prolonged, agonizing death.

 

So nuns made me read it and Walt memorialized it.

 

Anyway, so now you know why there are caves and references to "Injun Joe" on TSI. And why TSI is an island.

 

Anyway, there are nice, bubbling brooks and gushing streams all throughout the island:

 

 

The riverboat came steaming by:

 

 

Isn't that just totally bad ass?! I mean, people, it's a real effing riverboat!

 

A riverboat!

 

Walt Disney was like, "I'm rich, beyotches! I like trains and riverboats and monorails and steamboats, so I'm building myself a bunch! Who's going to stop me? Who? That's right -- no one. What's that? You say you're going to get your government to stop me? Then I'll just make my own government! Can you say, 'Reedy Creek Improvement District,' beyotches? Ha ha ha ha ha ha hahahaha!"

 

Crazy people are cool.

 

They get things done.

 

What the hell were we talking about?

 

Oh, yeah. Tom Sawyer Island.

 

Why are we talking about that?

 

Here's Harper's Mill:

 

 

Such a fantastic view:

 

 

 

Anyway, here's the landing building. If you look closely, you can see Mrs. Troll in the lower corner:

 

 

Like everything else Disney, TSI is very richly themed:

 

 

Remember our friend Injun Joe? The dude who was executed by being starved to death? Well, they named a raft after him:

 

 

How nice.

 

Hey! How come Injun Joe was deliberately starved to death against his will but when the Al Qaeda terrorists go on a hunger strike we force feed them Ensure?

 

We need to go back to good old fashioned law and order, Mark Twain style.

 

TSI has its own dedicated bathroom:

 

 

I didn't take a picture of the inside, as doing so would be, well, creepy. I mean who would do that? But let it be known that the insides haven't been refurb'd since 1971.

 

OK...the Dolphins are on...let me post this while I watch the game. Much, much more to come.

[The Troll 67]

OK, the game is over and the Dolphins won! Hurray! Hopefully this will put a small nail in the coffin of the Bullygate silliness.

Anyway, so we're at TSI. This sign sets the stage for the attraction:

Now...where's the Bottomless Pit? I've never seen that here.

And here's a very difficult-to-read map:

Sure enough, on the day I wanted to do my Troll Review, the mines were being cleaned:

There are lots of decks, walkways, and stairways:

Touches like this really shouldn't be ignored:

Waterfalls:

A lot of planning clearly went into this attraction.

Here's the very cool shaky bridge. So it turns out, TSI is actually two islands joined together by a shaky bridge:

Did you know that TSI is only open until dusk? I believe that's because if it were to stay open later, the Grim Grinning Ghosts may jump out of their attraction and haunt this one:

Here we see a fake tree stump:

I'm not sure what purpose the stump serves.

And here we are, Fort Fiends, at the Fort:

Notice the name is "Fort Langhorn." As I understand it, the original name of the fort when TSI opened was "Fort Sam Clemens."

Ha ha...get it?

No?

Mark Twains's real name was Samuel Clemens.

You should know that.

I mean, like, before I just told you.

Dummy.

But then in 1995, Disney released a really crappy movie version of Tom Sawyer called "Tom & Huck." I haven't seen that movie, but here's the movie's box art:

Evidently Disney hired the "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" guy to be in "Tom & Huck":

I

Mr. Hand!

I wonder whatever happened to that guy?

Anyway, so I can tell the "Tom & Huck" movie sucks just based on the box art. They say you should never judge a book by its cover, but that doesn't hold true for movies. If a movie's box art sucks, the movie will suck. Trust me. It's always true.

Why am I talking about "Tom & Huck"? Because there's evidently a fort in that movie called "Fort Langhorn." And as Disney is wont to do, we get this:

Count on Disney to never, ever miss a marketing opportunity.

Sort of like the circular "Pirates of the Caribbean" redo. Follow me here:

1. Disney exec: "Hey! One of our most popular rides at our park is 'The Pirates of the Caribbean.' I have an idea. Let's make a movie based on it!"

2. Disney exec #2: "Excellent idea!"

3. PotC movie is a box office success, largely because of popularity of ride.

4. Disney remakes the popular ride to match the stupid movie.

*Sigh.*

Anyway, I have to wonder if Disney changing the fort at TSI's name to "Fort Langhorn" resulted in even a single additional sale of the VHS of that crappy movie.

I bet not.

So here we are, inside the fort, Fort Fiends:

I've read that the TSI fort at Disneyland is closed and crumbling River Country style. I've read that it was overcome by termites. I've also read that the World fort doesn't have this problem, as the logs are made out of fiberglass.

Fake horse butt:

One time, back at the old forum, I posted a picture I took of the stable castmemebers at the Fort grooming one of the horses there and the picture showed the horse's butt and this lady got mad at me and asked me, "Do you think that's appropriate for a family website?!" So I did as any God-fearing, red-blooded, camping-loving guy would do: I told her to get a life. So then she reported me and I got in trouble.

I got in lots of trouble back at that place. I think I may have mentioned that before.

So I dedicate the picture above to that lady.

These two dudes look like zombies:

Evidently the Union army hired Tom Sawyer to paint all their signs for them.

Either that or the Union soldiers were all illiterate morons.

OK, now I deliver unto you a sight that you probably won't be able to see much longer:

Think about it. In this new, tragic climate of school/movie theater/military base mass shootings, in a world where we suspend 7-year-olds for chewing Poptarts into what might look like the shape of a gun (true story), in a world Musket Mickey is stripped of his musket and given a banjo instead, in a world where plastic squirt guns are now being renamed "sprayers," it's hard to believe that this rifle roost display still exists.

Clearly it's a forotten-about corner of Disney World that management pays little attention to...

...unless they're hawking a DVD, that is.

But give it time. The Rifle Roost will be replaced with a Telescope Lookout or something equally as tepid. Mark my words.

Endangered species:

More theming:

Isn't this fun?

So much more to come.

[DaveInTN 3,247]

I bet if it wasn't for the clearance needed for the riverboat to pass through, they would have built a foot bridge over to that island by now.  

 

I lamented the passing of Aunt Polly's in an old trip report of mine....mainly because I specifically took one of those rafts over there just to get some stinking ice cream.  And all I found were vending machines in place of Aunt Polly's.  That SMB.  

 

But overall I kind of like Tom Sawyer Island.  I have no idea why.  But I do.  

[mouseketab.....Carol 1,261]

On our first trip to WDW, we went over to TSI and had a blast!!  They served cold fried chicken, tasty sandwiches, and the boys had a blast running all over the island and white washing the fence.

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Great review of Tom Sawyer Island, Troll.

 

In my early visits to WDW as a kid, I never visited Tom Sawyer Island.  That was in the days when every attraction required a ticket, and I wasn't going to waste a ticket on some walk-through play-ground.

 

When I began to visit the MK with my children, we still never went.  Nothing on it sounded interesting.

 

Then, on one visit, we had one of my sisters along.  She had visited Tom Sawyer Island, and she liked it.  Plus, the caves of Tom Sawyer Island are featured in an old Disney Sing-A-Long video, so my girls were interested.

 

We all ended up liking it.

 

There is stuff missing from the island now.

 

There used to be playground equipment which was themed to resemble big boulders.  One thing I remember was one of those spinning things that used to be on every playground.  You know, the big round ones, where a bunch of kids would jump on, and a dad (or another kid if no dad was available) would spin the thing as fast as possible?  If done properly, someone would likely throw up. They had one of those, only it looked like a giant rock.  The TCD girls loved it.  Another item was a big boulder that kind of operated as a see-saw.  That's gone too.  I can't blame Disney for this: that type of playground equipment is gone from all playgrounds these days. Now everything has to be safe.  Boo!

 

If you're interested, this is the video I mentioned.  Looking at it now, I realize it was shot in Disneyland.  They show the spinning rock thing, and I can confirm that there used to be one on the MK's TSI too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOWmsEeA8Jk

 

 

Oh, and too bad the caves were closed. They are the best thing on the island.

 

I never even heard of that Tom and Huck video.  That Jonathan Taylor Thomas kid was one of the kids on Home Improvement, and he is also the voice of young Simba in the Lion King.  I guess that Tom and Huck movie was the end of the line for him.

 

TCD

[AC in A2......Aaron 693]

Caught up.

 

Definitely go to the karamel whatever it's called place in Germany on your next trip.

 

Salted caramels, Werther's caramel shortbread, the caramel corn........all of it is delish.

[Thrill Shakespeare (Andy) 58]

Samuel Clemens' middle name was actually Langhorne -- probably the reason for the fort's name in the film and now on Tom Sawyer Island.

[The Troll 67]

I bet if it wasn't for the clearance needed for the riverboat to pass through, they would have built a foot bridge over to that island by now.  

 

I lamented the passing of Aunt Polly's in an old trip report of mine....mainly because I specifically took one of those rafts over there just to get some stinking ice cream.  And all I found were vending machines in place of Aunt Polly's.  That SMB.  

 

But overall I kind of like Tom Sawyer Island.  I have no idea why.  But I do.  

 

Me, too. I don't know why, but I like it. Mrs. Troll...not so much.

 

On our first trip to WDW, we went over to TSI and had a blast!!  They served cold fried chicken, tasty sandwiches, and the boys had a blast running all over the island and white washing the fence.

 

Really? There was a fence you could whitewash?

 

Great review of Tom Sawyer Island, Troll.

 

In my early visits to WDW as a kid, I never visited Tom Sawyer Island.  That was in the days when every attraction required a ticket, and I wasn't going to waste a ticket on some walk-through play-ground.

 

When I began to visit the MK with my children, we still never went.  Nothing on it sounded interesting.

 

Then, on one visit, we had one of my sisters along.  She had visited Tom Sawyer Island, and she liked it.  Plus, the caves of Tom Sawyer Island are featured in an old Disney Sing-A-Long video, so my girls were interested.

 

We all ended up liking it.

 

There is stuff missing from the island now.

 

There used to be playground equipment which was themed to resemble big boulders.  One thing I remember was one of those spinning things that used to be on every playground.  You know, the big round ones, where a bunch of kids would jump on, and a dad (or another kid if no dad was available) would spin the thing as fast as possible?  If done properly, someone would likely throw up. They had one of those, only it looked like a giant rock.  The TCD girls loved it.  Another item was a big boulder that kind of operated as a see-saw.  That's gone too.  I can't blame Disney for this: that type of playground equipment is gone from all playgrounds these days. Now everything has to be safe.  Boo!

 

If you're interested, this is the video I mentioned.  Looking at it now, I realize it was shot in Disneyland.  They show the spinning rock thing, and I can confirm that there used to be one on the MK's TSI too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOWmsEeA8Jk

 

 

Oh, and too bad the caves were closed. They are the best thing on the island.

 

I never even heard of that Tom and Huck video.  That Jonathan Taylor Thomas kid was one of the kids on Home Improvement, and he is also the voice of young Simba in the Lion King.  I guess that Tom and Huck movie was the end of the line for him.

 

TCD

 

How ironic that the two things I highlighted in this report -- the Country Bears and TSI -- are in a video you uncovered! Leave it to TCD's magical Google powers.

 

That video is both good and weird and the same time. The bears not moving their lips is creepy. I like the part where the kids run into the cave and run back out when the big bear emerges from his slumber.

 

Caught up.

 

Definitely go to the karamel whatever it's called place in Germany on your next trip.

 

Salted caramels, Werther's caramel shortbread, the caramel corn........all of it is delish.

 

Looks like Mrs. Troll and I will be returning in January, so we'll put this on the to-do list. We have season passes, you see. We have to "get our money's worth." Ha ha...yes, we're suckers.

 

Samuel Clemens' middle name was actually Langhorne -- probably the reason for the fort's name in the film and now on Tom Sawyer Island.

 

Good point!

[The Troll 67]

Time to be moving along!

Time to be moving along!

 

We're still on Tom Sawyer Island. I still have more photos of that to share, so let's get at it.

 

The fort on TSI could actually serve as a real fort in, say, the Civil War. It's got walkways and covered towers:

 

 

I always wondered about the use of wood when building forts back then. Wouldn't the enemy just set the walls on fire?

 

The TSI fort would also be effective against zombies, I think. So if the zompocolypse breaks out while you're visiting Disney, make your way over here. It's where I'll be. Someone be sure to bring some weapons.

 

Mrs. Troll was not interested in exploring the TSI fort. There she is, down there, sitting. She was hot:

 

 

There's a buoy out there in the river...or canal...or whatever it is:

 

 

 

Let's take a closer look at the buoy:

 

 

 

Crawdad Shoal. You talk about attention to detail! The only way you can see that little detail is with a zoom lens or if you cruise by it on the riverboat.

 

The Escape Tunnel is cool:

 

 

But you have to wonder how many guests' visit to the TSI fort is cut short when they wander down there, not realizing it takes you back out of the fort.

 

Mrs. Troll did not like the Escape Tunnel:

 

 

I think she felt claustrophobic.

 

Here we are, back on the dock, awaiting the raft:

 

 

If you're a veteran of Troll Trip Reports, you know I like to critique people's fashion choices. Let's do that right now. Check out this dude's shoes:

 

 

I often take pictures like these surreptitiously. I pretend I'm messing with the camera's settings, when I'm actually taking a picture of you so I can post a picture of you on the Internet and then make fun of you.

 

I wonder how big my crown is going to be when I get to heaven?

 

Anyway, see that normal foot in the normal New Balance shoe? That's my foot. See that uber-European shoe without laces with a foot in it without socks? That's NOT my foot. It was the foot of a 50-something dude with white hair. I don't think he was European, but maybe he was trying to be. I mean, why would you make that shoe choice when visiting a mega theme park like MK?

 

Can you imagine John Wayne wearing shoes like those?

 

Now we're cruising back across the river, bidding farewell to TSI and European shoe guy. For some odd reason, he chose not to accompany us back across on the raft. Instead he just sat on the bench in the waiting area for the raft, blocking other people who were waiting on the raft from sitting down.

 

Here we are, docking:

 

 

I don't know who all those people were, but I liked the colors of their shirts, so I snapped a photo specifically for your enjoyment.

 

I'm always looking out for my fellow Fiends.

 

More incredible attention to detail:

 

 

Notice the homemade toy boat. Stuff like this is what makes me love Disney World.

 

Damn I love this place.

 

OK, now we have another interesting wardrobe selection:

 

 

Skirt...check...shoes with heels...check...no socks...check...bloody blisters...arriving at five.

 

Look at dude next to her. See what he's wearing? Yep -- capri pants. You know what that means?

 

Europeans.

 

And when I say "European," I don't mean British.

 

British people are normal.

 

Their men tend not to wear capri pants.

 

Anyway, we decided at this point to go pay a visit to the pirates. So we're walking:

 

 

What is this:

 

 

Is it that pirate scavenger hunt thing?

 

When we arrived at the Pirates, we were dismayed to learn that the standby line extended outside the building. But it seemed to be moving quickly, so we gave it a try.

 

Here's a rarely photographed area:

 

 

It's the brush outside the queue area of Pirates.

 

Here's another sort of ignored detail:

 

 

And a lantern:

 

 

They sure have a lot of different types of lanterns at Disney World.

 

And light bulbs. I think I mave marveled over this in a previous report, but just think of all the light bulbs in MK alone. Think of all the bulbs on Main Street! There must be a light bulb warehouse somewhere underground where all the extra bulbs are stored. And there's a guy who runs it...keeping an inventory of all the different bulbs.

 

I mean, think about! It has to be true! As soon as a light bulb on Main Street burns out, boom! Someone replaces it immediately.

 

They have to have all those spare light bulbs somewhere. They can't just hop in a truck and drive to Walmart every time a bulb burns out.

 

You know, I've said it before, but I'll say it again -- I don't like the stupid redo of the Pirates ride. It was better the way it was before the Captain Sparrow BS. They tried to insert some bigger story into the pirate ride, but due to the way the boats move from scene to scene, the story doesn't really reveal itself. Johnny Depp is evidently hiding from something for some reason. That's all I can gather.

 

Then at the end of the ride he has all the treasure. Huh? Did I miss something?

 

Whatever.

 

It sucks.

 

Change it back.

 

After the pirate ride, we decided to exit stage left. Here we are, walking through the Emporium:

 

 

 

There sure are a lot of gift shops at Disney, all competing for your limited vacation dollars.

 

Wanna buy a stuffed dalmatian? They got 'em here. What will you do with it once you get home?

 

Um...stick it on a shelf to collect dust?

 

Money well spent!

 

If you think about it, stuffed dalmatians keep the world turning. Follow me here. My little niece wants a stuffed dalmatian. To get said dalmatian, I must work. Since everyone wants dalmatians, everyone works. We all then benefit from the fruits of our individual labors.

 

So, Disney, please continue to hawk stuffed dalmatians.

 

Otherwise, our economy will collapse.

 

Oh yeah!

 

They also sell Minnie Mouse bibs:

 

 

I forgot to mention that.

 

Still to come...much, much more Troll madness. What will the Troll rant about next? I don't know. Just tune in and find out.

[h2odivers...Ray 952]

I love TSI. As a kid my parents dropped us off there to burn off some steam. Or we were out of tickets.

I haven't been out there in years and now I think I want to go back because my DD9 has never been out there. I think.

By the way, Tom and huck starred the kid from home improvement, J. t. Thomas as Tom Sawyer and Brad Renfro as Huck. The actor from Fast Times at ... You have pictured is Sean Penn. however they do look alike

[h2odivers...Ray 952]

The kid with the jean Capri pants you think might be European. He might be but we went to Disneyland last year and there were tons of guys wearing those jean Capri type shorts. Most of them seemed to be of the Hispanic or want to be Hispanic. And one of them was my brother. Lol

[CCIntrigue...aka Gwen 547]

All caught up.  Great TR!  Especially enjoyed the pics of TSI.  We haven't been there in over 30 years.