The Trolls Return to the Fort

[The Troll 67]

OK, so I must, before anything else, offer up a few apologies for the long delay since the last update. After two weeks at the Fort I had lots of work to catch up on. That's my excuse.

So let's get the report back rolling again.

As I've mentioned several times before, I like to do photo theme sets. One I'm working on for this report is called Unique Perspectives, where I try to take photos of common Fort scenes and objects from an unusual or unique perspective.

Well, in this update, I proudly bring to you another photo theme set -- an in-depth look at the Meadows Trading Post building. Sounds fun, right?

I mean, if you're a true blue fan of the Fort, that's got to sound intriguing, right? Think about it -- how often do you go to the Meadows Trading Post and not bother to look at the details? Well, let's change that. Let's explore:

But before we do, I have a Trip Report requirement checkbox to check off.

It's the "Every Trip Reporter Must Take Pictures of River Country" requirement. So here you go:



This must be the most photographed abandoned swimming pool in human history.

They're going to need a lot of bleach when it comes time to finally reopen this place.

Remember that boat captain I mentioned earlier in the report, the one who called the shoe tree the Nike Cypress? Well that same guy had some interesting things to say about River Country:

1. River Country was the world's first water park.

2. Disney invented water parks.

3. River Country is indefinitely temporarily closed.

I do believe that all three of these fun facts are patently false. But think! All the passengers aboard this boat captain's boat will now go out to message boards and blogs and regurgitate it all!

Here's another RC photo:



Interesting that TCD posted almost exactly the same photo of this shack in his report...oh, wait, no it's not. Considering the gap in the fence is only about four inches wide, this is pretty much all you can photograph without breaking the law.

But, hey, you get to see another photo of the state of that shack. It's going to need a paint job and some nails when it comes time to prep for the Grand Reopening.

It's been reported here and elsewhere on FF.net that the roofing project over at the stables is taking an inordinately long time to complete. Well, I do believe I've found the cause:



Yes, that guy is surfing the web on his smart phone.

You know, I wonder how much American productivity has declined since the introduction of the smart phone.

And you know, what the hell are people doing on them? Seriously. I guess they're sending text messages?

So what is this guy texting?

And you know what sucks?

Facebook.

Facebook is now just spam email with pictures.

Yeah, it's very much like email. You know, when email first came out, it was awesome. If you went to your inbox and there was a message waiting for you, you knew it was something good -- a letter from your dad, your child, a brother, your old friend from Texas, etc. Now email is nothing but spam.

And that's exactly how Facebook has gone.

Anyway, sorry, that's was sort of an unofficial Troll Rant there. But who disagrees with me? Anyone?

Anyway, back to Disney World stuff -- you know, the stuff that you're supposed to talk about on this message board.

Check this out:



If you look very closely, you can still see where the sign used to be on this building. A Fort newb would really have no idea how much history, how many memories are tied to this very innocuous-looking area.

All right. I've got my RC requirement filled. Let's take a look at the Meadows.



Isn't there a thread on this board where you can post picture of stuff like this above and people have to guess where it was taken? I can't find it. I have lots of good, crappy pictures like this I could post there.

Here's another one of these annoying poles:



Here's our trading post, chock full of $49 beach towels and $5 loaves of bread:



I wonder what suckers actually buy groceries here?

Hey, suckers, you know there's a Walmart that's just ten minutes away, right?

See these shrub things with the bluish flowers on them:



I like them. They should plant them in every loop. You'll find them in good number in the 1500 loop. The 1900 loop could use a few.

And some grass.

And some fill dirt.

And some drainage pipes.

I love how they poured these sidewalks:



It costs much less to just pave them straight, like they do in suburban housing areas, but Disney didn't cut any corners. Disney realized the walkways would look much more charming if they were curvy, so they poured them curvy.

By the way, ahhh...the suburbs. Where else can you see dead lawns, lawns overcome by weeds and sand spurs, cars missing hubcaps parked on the lawn, BBQ grills and trash cans in front of houses, faded plastic swing sets, colored bulb things on a stick, boats parked in driveways, algae-filled fountains, and brittle plastic lawn furniture?

Ahhhhh...

Do you understand now why I like to visit Disney so often?

Very few people know it, but there used to be a real steam train that ran through the Fort. And it pulled right up to the entrance of the Meadows Trading Post. If you know where to look, you can still see evidence of it:



Here's one of Planet Earth's Greatest Spots:



There's the Great Overlook at the Grand Canyon, Lookout Mountain in the Rockies, top of the Hoover Dam, the rain forests of Brazil, the top of the Great Wall of China...

...and the rocking chairs outside the Meadows Trading Post...

...with a Mickey Ear.

Mmmmm...Mickey Ear.

Anyone else noticed they changed the soundtrack to the Meadow Trading Post porch? It's nice they mixed things up.

Here's another view, down the side rail:



Hey, going back to email, Facebook, and the suburbs, that's sort of a theme, isn't it? That is, isn't it an odd and sad phenomenon how things start out good and then certain schmucks show up and ruin it? It hate schmucks.

Here's a peg, if you want to hang up your Shearling coat before you rock and eat your Mickey Ear:



What's that, you say? You didn't quite understand what I meant about the schmucks ruining email, Facebook, and the suburbs? Well here's a fine illustration of Schmuck behavior:



Schmucks.

I mean, seriously, people. There's a flippin' trash can literally -- literally -- half a step away from this spot. What, was the Schmuck worried about getting garbage can juice on his hand?

Here's a strange sign:



It's advertising mail service and something called plug tobacco. What, exactly, is plug tobacco?

Interesting that the Disney's Department of Avoiding Anything That Might Be Construed as Controversial hasn't arrived here and rubbed out the word "tobacco" yet.

Again, if you're just joining us, fans, we're exploring the Meadows Trading Post. If you came here looking for advice on how to best plan your first trip to Disney, how to get good deals on rooms in Disney accommodations, what size stroller is allowed in Disney Parks, or details on how the Disney Dining Plan works, you've come to the wrong place.



Here Disney is advertising for Procter and Gamble, a rival corporation:



I bet Procter and Gamble could make one bad ass theme park.

Here we see more Schmuck evidence:



As you can see, some Schmuck pointlessly tore down one of the rustic old signs.

It's hard to see in this photo, but there's an odd wooden box attached to the wall of the trading post, right by the door:



Let's open it:



As you can see, there's an XLR connection for what appears to be a PA system. Why did they need a PA system here?



If you're, like, 98 years old and want to mail your friend a letter, you can do it here. I wonder what the post office does if someone actually tries to mail a letter that isn't a bill, a credit card offer, junk mail, or a solicitation that's made to look like a bill? I bet they get confused.

"Hey, Jim! What the hell is this? Someone hand wrote on the envelope! And what's that thing stuck up on the right corner of the envelope where the metered mail number is supposed to go?"

If you're thirsty, you don't have to pay a fortune to wet your whistle:



Where did Disney find this junk:





Here's how the trading post looks to my dog Zoe:



What's that, you say? Dogs aren't allowed at the Trading Post?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Troll dogs are.

At some point in history, on some day possibly long ago, perhaps on the day when the space shuttle Challenger exploded, perhaps on the day Joe Montana threw that historic pass to Dwight Clark, perhaps on the day President Clinton claimed he didn't have you-know-what with that woman, perhaps on the day the United States defeated the Soviet Union in hockey at the Winter Olympics, perhaps on the day those planes smashed into the WTC, perhaps on the day Madonna's hit song "Like a Virgin" played for the first time on MTV...

...this doorknob fell off:



I bet TCD knows exactly what day and time it fell off and will provide a scanned copy Disney Manager on Duty event report.

You can park your bike up here at the Trading Post:



Here's a Unique Perspective shot:



Pretty cool, huh?

Well, I hope everyone is enjoying all this, because there's still a ton more of it to come!

[diane+ not THAT monte 7]

WOW !  11 pages of pure Dis ........ OOPS Troll Magic  Love this stuff .

[Grumpy and Grandma 739]

It's advertising mail service and something called plug tobacco. What, exactly, is plug tobacco?

A compressed block of chewing tobacco and the user would take his pocket knife and cut off a chunk (plug).

[DaveInTN 3,247]

I wonder if that old PA system was used for the railroad back in the day to make announcements about the train pulling out or something.  

[BuckeyeFortFan 35]

What the fort is a Mickey Ear? Do you mean a Mickey Bar? Cause those are delicious. A Mickey Ear sounds nasty.

[DramaMama .......... Janet 75]

As you can see, there's an XLR connection for what appears to be a PA system. Why did they need a PA system here?

 

 

At one time, if it was raining the Campfire Sing-a-long would be held on the porch of the Meadow Trading Post. 

[Laura 17]

Love it!  Thanks for the pictures, made my whole night.  I showed my husband the Rocking chair pictures and I am not sure but I think he is crying just a bit.

My first guess on the PA was for the Train.  We have one of the cars from the old train and I have my coffee in it in the mornings, it is our Rocking chair fix until we can get back.  If you ever come across video of the train in use I sure would appreciate a copy. To date I have only found one.

I agree AND disagree with you on FB. I use it as a tool, and instantly unfriend anyone who plays candycrush and sends me an invite.  Like anything, you have to figure out how to use it to your advantage and make it work for you.  I subscribe to my competitors page unbeknownst to them and see what they are up to so I can stay competitive, subscribe to customers so I can keep up with them and their needs, keep family updated with photos when I am too lazy to email which is always. When my daughter had a 104 temp and I was clueless if I should take her out at 10:00 pm to the er, I had real MOM answers from at least 23 mothers from my area in less time then it took me to get through to my daughters Doctor. Priceless.  I keep up with the neighborhood issues (break in's, parties, ect), See what my Stepdaughter is up to in college, and get 60 make ahead freezer recipe's in one post. I also got hooked up with brilliant people who helped me fix my old Mead LX200 12" whom I now keep in contact with and share amazing pictures. I got to chat/meet with an astronaut. I come across wonderful music I otherwise would not. The list goes on.  I admit when I first signed up and did not realize I invited every one of over 4000 business contact to be my friend on Facebook I almost deleted it, but I fixed that and now I get more from FB then it takes from me. Sorry you asked?

:clint:

[michele j 9]

Great trip report, but I need some more troll dogs please :)

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

I enjoyed the unique perspective photos.

 

About the door knob:  according to my sources it fell off during the Ford Administration.  I cannot produce any documentation, as that event predates the digital age.  So, that's the best I can do.  You were on the right track thinking it occurred a really long time ago.

 

TCD

[The Troll 67]

WOW !  11 pages of pure Dis ........ OOPS Troll Magic  Love this stuff .

 

Ha ha! Isn't this fun? This whole site is fun.

 

A compressed block of chewing tobacco and the user would take his pocket knife and cut off a chunk (plug).

 

Interesting. Is it still done today?

 

I wonder if that old PA system was used for the railroad back in the day to make announcements about the train pulling out or something.  

 

See below.

 

What the fort is a Mickey Ear? Do you mean a Mickey Bar? Cause those are delicious. A Mickey Ear sounds nasty.

 

Yes...a Mickey Ear is what Trolls call a Mickey Bar. I object to calling it a "bar," as it is not bar shaped.

 

At one time, if it was raining the Campfire Sing-a-long would be held on the porch of the Meadow Trading Post. 

 

Well, this makes perfect sense. Looking at the controls and XLR connection, it didn't look old enough to be a leftover from the railroad.

 

I have a question: When it rains now, what do they do? They go on with the sing-along, don't they? But where?

 

Love it!  Thanks for the pictures, made my whole night.  I showed my husband the Rocking chair pictures and I am not sure but I think he is crying just a bit.

My first guess on the PA was for the Train.  We have one of the cars from the old train and I have my coffee in it in the mornings, it is our Rocking chair fix until we can get back.  If you ever come across video of the train in use I sure would appreciate a copy. To date I have only found one.

I agree AND disagree with you on FB. I use it as a tool, and instantly unfriend anyone who plays candycrush and sends me an invite.  Like anything, you have to figure out how to use it to your advantage and make it work for you.  I subscribe to my competitors page unbeknownst to them and see what they are up to so I can stay competitive, subscribe to customers so I can keep up with them and their needs, keep family updated with photos when I am too lazy to email which is always. W

 

So glad you and your husband like the pictures. On the matter of FB, we still use it the way you do, but it was much better five or six years ago, before so much effort was being made to "monetize" it.

[The Troll 67]

Great trip report, but I need some more troll dogs please :)

 

 

About the door knob.. I cannot produce any documentation, as that event predates the digital age.  

 

That's never stopped you before.

[The Troll 67]

Let's continue our journey.

 

Does anyone play hopscotch anymore?

 

 

BTW, I did not place that Ripstick there for photo effect. There were some annoying kids nearby who had left it there.

 

Now I know I tend to be sort of hard on kids for a laugh, but in this case, no, the "annoying" label fits. They were being annoying...and a bit destructive. I got bad vibes from them.

 

But I didn't let the bad vibes stop me from my trip reporting duties. After all, I am about 20 times stronger than they were...so if they gave me any trouble, I would have just gorilla pressed them into the lake.

 

What's a gorilla press, you ask?

 

This:

 

 

Hey! There's the Ultimate Warrior again! Evidently he is a fan of Troll Trip Reports, as he makes many guest appearances.

 

There's the Bike Barn:

 

 

I assume it's proper to capitalize "Bike Barn," as it's a proper name for that establishment. I could be wrong, though.

 

This photo sparked some very old memories and I need your help to reconcile them.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but as i understand it, the Bike Barn did not always exist at this location. Does anyone know when it was moved? The reason I ask is, I assume, and I could be wrong, but I assume that the Marshmallow Marsh departed from the Bike Barn. I have a very distinct memory of walking to the movie and sing-along and my sister pointing out the Marshmallow Marsh canoes departing for the Marshmallow Marsh location.

 

So is that memory accurate? What year was the Bike Barn moved?

 

Anyway, let's press on.

 

Disney does not want chubby ducks:

 

 

Another angle:

 

 

Notice the Ripstick is still there.

 

Here's a view of the Meadows from behind:

 

 

If it weren't for the fence in this photo, you'd never know this was the Fort:

 

 

Notice again those Blue Flower Shrub Things. Anyone know what those are called? I want to plant some in my backyard.

 

All right...let's discuss this thing:

 

 

Is it a deck or a dock? I think my vote is for deck. A dock is a thing boats attach themselves to when they're not in use. A deck is a nice wooden thing you drink a beer on. I believe the thing above is much better for beer drinking than boat attaching.

 

 

Here I am, standing on the rocks in the lake, looking back at the Meadows:

 

 

If you look closely, you can see some of those trouble-making kids who were cruisin' for a gorilla pressin'.

 

Here's an old, rusty metal box:

 

 

Notice that extremely heavy gauge wire coming out of it. That heavy gauge wire means lots and lots of electricity...going in to a rusty box...that gets rained on, like, every single day.

 

Hey, Yankees -- do you have white birds like this one in Yankee Land?

 

 

We have cool birds in the south.

 

Here's a Troll-approved structure:

 

 

Here's a look back from that bridge:

 

 

This photo is really, really interesting:

 

 

Those cross boards are holding that pipe up. Notice they didn't bother to cut the corners of each board off into a nice, neat angle. They left them square, to make the bridge look more frontier-ish.

 

Now, if you're nodding your head, agreeing with me about how interesting those boards are and how interesting their decision to leave the boards square is, you need help.

 

I just made all that up. This is a photo I accidentally snapped while walking.

 

And you thought I was being serious about this being interesting? Ha!

 

Here's another shot of our cool southern birds:

 

 

Here's another look at the dock/deck:

 

 

Notice that there is an opening in the hand rail...so you can, what? Jump in? That's very odd...and not very safe. It looks like the only thing holding back an unsupervised toddler -- which we have many of at Disney World -- is a rope.

 

Hmmm...

 

Then again, I guess the wandering toddler could just wade into the lake from the shoreline.

 

Translation: Watch your kids, people!

 

OK, time for another fun photo quiz!

 

How did I take this self-portrait:

 

 

 

Remember those blue bushes I keep rambling about? Here's a closeup of one:

 

 

At this point, it was time for me to head back to camp. Mrs. Troll was waiting for me there, as we had dinner plans for this night.

 

Where were we heading, you ask?

 

Boma!

 

That experience and the Troll's review of Boma is coming up next! You don't want to miss it!

[alexwyattmommy 181]

Too bad the kids were sitting right there.  I'm thinking hiding that fake skateboard in the bushes would have been funny.

 

Boma!

 

I'm in.

[The Troll 67]

Postscript...

 

Did you know that if you type a certain combination of characters together, this message board replaces it with one of those dumb smiley face things?

 

Let it be known that the Troll is not, repeat, is NOT a smiley face inserter.

 

So if you see smiley face things in my reports, know that I did not deliberately put them there.

 

That is all.

[Thrill Shakespeare (Andy) 58]

Boma?  Bring it on!

[DramaMama .......... Janet 75]

Love me some Boma!!!

[CCIntrigue...aka Gwen 547]

I'm excited about hearing about Boma.  We've never been there.

[DramaMama .......... Janet 75]

Well, this makes perfect sense. Looking at the controls and XLR connection, it didn't look old enough to be a leftover from the railroad.

 

I have a question: When it rains now, what do they do? They go on with the sing-along, don't they? But where?

 

 

Don't know for sure.  BUT, here is my research:

 

The Gazette they gave out in November 2011 said "What happens to the Campfire Program if it rains?  A 'Porch Jam' sing-a-long takes place at the Meadow Swimmin' Hole."

 

The far less impressive "Recreation Activities" page they gave us in January 2013 states in very small print at the bottom of page: " Activities and programs are subject to change.  In the event of inclement weather, please check for changes at the Meadow Recreation Complex and/or the Bike Barn."

 

Kind of non-committal, huh?

[AC in A2......Aaron 693]

I have finally caught up.

 

Once again I have to ask if that is Ultimate Warrior 1, 2, and 3.

 

I am pretty sure they all died from the drugs that Mark McGwire, Roger Clemens, and A-Fraud never took....

 

I wish you would have gorilla-pressed the annoying rip stick kid into the lake.

 

It would have been entertaining.

 

If Bob's alligator was near the dock though, the seriousness of the charges may have increased to a less funny level.....

 

who am i kidding?

 

It's not my annoying kid so who cares.

 

I like the various points of view from which you take your Troll pics.

 

Indian Springs?  Nice

 

I wonder how many people here, have taken a dip there?

 

I have.

 

Neener, Neener, Neener.

 

Oh crap.  I just became one of those annoying kids.

 

How about I just say.........

 

Indian Springs and RC were awesome and there should be a moratorium placed on any more "springs".

 

Where is Dave with his wig to yell, "Salt! Salt! Salt!"?

[Laura 17]

I think you had a happy moment and a subliminal smiley became of it. Let it go Troll....it's ok! 

[Thrill Shakespeare (Andy) 58]

 

Indian Springs?  Nice

 

I wonder how many people here, have taken a dip there?

 

I have.

 

I too have taken a dip in Indian Springs.  Good times.  Sigh.

[michele j 9]

We might have some of those birds in  yankee zoo's :)

[Travisma 1,317]

Let's continue our journey.

 

Does anyone play hopscotch anymore?

 

 

BTW, I did not place that Ripstick there for photo effect. There were some annoying kids nearby who had left it there.

 

Now I know I tend to be sort of hard on kids for a laugh, but in this case, no, the "annoying" label fits. They were being annoying...and a bit destructive. I got bad vibes from them.

 

But I didn't let the bad vibes stop me from my trip reporting duties. After all, I am about 20 times stronger than they were...so if they gave me any trouble, I would have just gorilla pressed them into the lake.

 

What's a gorilla press, you ask?

 

This:

 

 

Hey! There's the Ultimate Warrior again! Evidently he is a fan of Troll Trip Reports, as he makes many guest appearances.

 

There's the Bike Barn:

 

 

I assume it's proper to capitalize "Bike Barn," as it's a proper name for that establishment. I could be wrong, though.

 

This photo sparked some very old memories and I need your help to reconcile them.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but as i understand it, the Bike Barn did not always exist at this location. Does anyone know when it was moved? The reason I ask is, I assume, and I could be wrong, but I assume that the Marshmallow Marsh departed from the Bike Barn. I have a very distinct memory of walking to the movie and sing-along and my sister pointing out the Marshmallow Marsh canoes departing for the Marshmallow Marsh location.

 

So is that memory accurate? What year was the Bike Barn moved?

 

Anyway, let's press on.

 

Disney does not want chubby ducks:

 

 

Another angle:

 

 

Notice the Ripstick is still there.

 

Here's a view of the Meadows from behind:

 

 

If it weren't for the fence in this photo, you'd never know this was the Fort:

 

 

Notice again those Blue Flower Shrub Things. Anyone know what those are called? I want to plant some in my backyard.

 

All right...let's discuss this thing:

 

 

Is it a deck or a dock? I think my vote is for deck. A dock is a thing boats attach themselves to when they're not in use. A deck is a nice wooden thing you drink a beer on. I believe the thing above is much better for beer drinking than boat attaching.

 

 

Here I am, standing on the rocks in the lake, looking back at the Meadows:

 

 

If you look closely, you can see some of those trouble-making kids who were cruisin' for a gorilla pressin'.

 

Here's an old, rusty metal box:

 

 

Notice that extremely heavy gauge wire coming out of it. That heavy gauge wire means lots and lots of electricity...going in to a rusty box...that gets rained on, like, every single day.

 

Hey, Yankees -- do you have white birds like this one in Yankee Land?

 

 

We have cool birds in the south.

 

Here's a Troll-approved structure:

 

 

Here's a look back from that bridge:

 

 

This photo is really, really interesting:

 

 

Those cross boards are holding that pipe up. Notice they didn't bother to cut the corners of each board off into a nice, neat angle. They left them square, to make the bridge look more frontier-ish.

 

Now, if you're nodding your head, agreeing with me about how interesting those boards are and how interesting their decision to leave the boards square is, you need help.

 

I just made all that up. This is a photo I accidentally snapped while walking.

 

And you thought I was being serious about this being interesting? Ha!

 

Here's another shot of our cool southern birds:

 

 

Here's another look at the dock/deck:

 

 

Notice that there is an opening in the hand rail...so you can, what? Jump in? That's very odd...and not very safe. It looks like the only thing holding back an unsupervised toddler -- which we have many of at Disney World -- is a rope.

 

Hmmm...

 

Then again, I guess the wandering toddler could just wade into the lake from the shoreline.

 

Translation: Watch your kids, people!

 

OK, time for another fun photo quiz!

 

How did I take this self-portrait:

 

 

 

Remember those blue bushes I keep rambling about? Here's a closeup of one:

 

 

At this point, it was time for me to head back to camp. Mrs. Troll was waiting for me there, as we had dinner plans for this night.

 

Where were we heading, you ask?

 

Boma!

 

That experience and the Troll's review of Boma is coming up next! You don't want to miss it!

When we were there in 77 the Marshmallow canoes left the dock behind the trading post. I don't think there was a bike barn at that time.

[caveat lector 181]

Finally caught up on my reading. Kudos to you Mr. Troll, another fine rendering

I am pro original video games. I really don't want to know how much I spent, a quarter at a time, on galaga, tempest, space invaders, centipede,etc

The ultimate warrior appears to be gorilla pressing Randy "the Macho Man" Savage...... OH YEAH!! The guy was an impressive athlete. I think he even played minor league baseball.

Close up of the blue flower is excellent

[Millermouseketeers MaryAnn 150]

Excellent trip report! Thank you for sharing all your photos. And rants!