The Trolls Run from Isaac!

[The Troll 67]

1. Just because you win the beer doesn't mean you get to choose the vintage. (though I might have some shiner on hand)

2. I thought that was orange juice in your new mug

3. waiting for some loopin

I think I stipulated in the rules that I do NOT drink the cheap stuff. And some loopin' is in store...don't worry. We did plenty of that!

Woohoo! Norm takes crappy pictures too!

I have felt so inadequate after looking at your pics, I feel better now. Thanks! ^-^

Yes, I take many, many crappy pictures. Heck, I take a lot of pictures that I think look good in the camera but then when I get them off the camera and onto my computer, I realize they're awful.

Looks great, Norm. Good job so far!

Thanks! I'm glad you like it. Thanks for reading along!

Is that the ridiculously lit-up River Country?

TCD

No surprise, you are correct! You have to wonder why they even still light that place up. You'd think they'd want to hide it, not illuminate it.

We were at the Fort at the same time! Sorry we didn't get to meet up. We went to Downtown Disney the day you arrived. :-)

Glad you had a good first day and your puppies are adorable!

Wow, I so need to get to work on my TR... but I"m waiting on my Photopass CD so I can have everything in order... I like order.

Sorry we missed you! I'm looking forward to reading your TR.

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

No surprise, you are correct! You have to wonder why they even still light that place up. You'd think they'd want to hide it, not illuminate it.

It is strange.

It is very brightly lit.

TCD

[The Troll 67]

OK, so as I reported in the last installment, the rain had mostly dried up. The dogs love going for a walk in the mornings, so I grabbed the leashes and my new coffee mug and decided to explore the 700 loop a bit.

As I mentioned at the very start of this report, the Fort was almost deserted. It was kind of nice and kind of not nice. Nice having the Fort all to yourself...not nice in that the place had an eerie, uncharacteristic emptiness to it. Here's an empty site now:

This was one of those flooded sites we discussed earlier. Notice how looks are deceiving. Coming up on this site, you'd probably never suspect that the site gets covered in three inches of water in a heavy rain.

Notice the palm tree. I really like these palms. The Fort should plant more scrub palms. They're native to the area and provide awesome coverage in between sites.

Again, no water:

I set my coffee mug down on a post for a quick shot:

Are you tired of seeing this mug yet? Can you tell I like it?

And here's the entrance to the dog walk area:

And look what we have here:

Abandoned railroad tracks...or, well, what used to be tracks.

Notice the railroad ties are still there!

I bet Fort newbs are shocked to learn that a real steam train used to run through this campground.

It did. It was awesome.

I road it.

Many times.

It was really, really stupid to get rid of it.

Here are the train tracks from ground level:

And here they are from eye level:

Now it's time for a Troll Rant^TM.

If you don't like rants by 40-year-old dudes who self-describe themselves as Internet forum trolls, I suggest you skip this next part. You've been warned.

[TROLL RANT ON]

Check this out:

Notice how close these tracks run to the actual sites!

I can't believe how close they are!

Now, there are some great stories posted about the Fort Wilderness Railroad here on Fort Fiends. One of the stories discusses Disney management's decision to get rid of it. Evidently there were a number of reason, but one of the primary ones was the noise the train generated. After all, who wants to be swinging in a hammock on a quiet, breezy day and have a steam engine -- complete with steam whistle -- come roaring past you?

So I'm sure the conscientious Disney managers were torn about it. They were like, "Well, the FWRR is a great, great attraction, but it's just so darned noisy. We're getting lots of complaints from our valued guests, who are, after all, the reason why we exist."

Then another manager chimed in, "Yes, you're right. The customer always comes first. But what should we do? If we shut down the train, we'll upset many of our other very valued guests."

Manager #1: "Agree...but there is the safety issue. A young child was on a bike and got hit by the train..."

Manager #2: "Well, that's true..."

Manager #1: "This is Fort Wilderness, after all. It's supposed to be quiet and peaceful so our guests can relax and enjoy nature. So it's decided. I hate to do it, but the railroad is closed."

Now let's advance the clock to the late 1990s. Those first two managers who struggled with the difficult decision of getting rid of the railroad have retired. Now we have two new ones. Let's listen in to their conversation, shall we?

Manager #1: "Let's build an effing NASCAR racetrack! It'll be bad ass!"

Manager #2: "But won't that be noisy and disturb the guests staying in the resorts, particularly the campground?"

Manager #1: "Who gives a flying crap?! I want a racetrack! With real NASCAR cars. Those stupid suckers will pay to stay here even if we make them sleep on beds of nails!"

Manager #2: "Yeah, you're right! And we can charge the suckers to ride along in a racecar for megabucks! I mean, yeah, sure, such a ride would suck, but people are stupid and will pay for it anyway!"

Manager #1: "Yee ha!"

And just like that, the Trolls are stuck listening to that maddening racecar zooming around and around and around...all...

...day...

...long.

I hate that Richard Petty Experience abomination. Hate it!

[/TROLL RANT OFF]

OK, after raging about that silently in my own thoughts for a few minutes, I decided to continue my walk:

We heard news that morning that Hurricane Isaac had been downgraded to a tropical storm and was going to hit well west of our home up in the panhandle. I took this shot to document the fact that Isaac's remnants were gone:

Blue skies!

Ha ha...just wait.

While walking I noticed these black hoses again. I marveled at them in one of my last trip reports:

Clearly they're for irrigation. But that raises an obvious question: Do we really need to irrigate the forest? I thought God took care of that for us.

I guess it's to keep the ground wet during dry spells. I guess. I guess Disney doesn't want its cash cow treasured campground to burn down.

Oh, and check this picture out:

Think I'm at the edge of a dense swamp?

Nope, it's just the back of site 722:

Coming up next, I hop in the Kenny cart to take a cruise through the Settlement area.

[stefa70 205]

#Pissypants :lmao1:

I can only speak for myself, but I don't mind noise when camping. In fact there are some noises that, for me, are synonymous with Fort camping.

Example: EWP, goofy cowboy songs from the campfire & if its quiet enough, even the movie itself, fireworks.....etc.

I also LOVE the roar of NASCAR engines. (Even if RP Experience is not quite the same)

I too rode the FW train back in the day.

So, I say bring it all! If I want serene and quiet I will go to a local state park. I'll even add in a rowdy neighbor that I can drink a beer with, to the above list.

With all that said, I dig your rants! You're probably one of those guys who complains a lot, but is really a softie.

[Nicki aka Rebelstand 272]

I get what you are saying and know that there will be things that drive me crazy but right now.... It's the Fort. I haven't been in almost two years. I just wanna be at the Fort. Besides there is the group of loud obnoxious drunks I plan on visiting with....

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Are you tired of seeing this mug yet?

No.

Can you tell I like it?

Yes.

Great tour of the 700 loop.

Interesting rant. I'm not a fan of the racetrack noise either.

TCD

[Southern Blessings 4]

I love that mug too, it has character, lol! I love Nascar, but not sure I like the track being at WDW.

[The Troll 67]

#Pissypants :lmao1:

I can only speak for myself, but I don't mind noise when camping. In fact there are some noises that, for me, are synonymous with Fort camping.

Example: EWP, goofy cowboy songs from the campfire & if its quiet enough, even the movie itself, fireworks.....etc.

I also LOVE the roar of NASCAR engines. (Even if RP Experience is not quite the same)

I too rode the FW train back in the day.

So, I say bring it all! If I want serene and quiet I will go to a local state park. I'll even add in a rowdy neighbor that I can drink a beer with, to the above list.

With all that said, I dig your rants! You're probably one of those guys who complains a lot, but is really a softie.

I agree with you that a lot of the ambient sounds around the Fort -- the EWP, cowboy sing-alongs, distant MK train whistles, boat horns, etc. -- definitely add to the character and charm of the Fort.

But I draw the line at NASCAR speedways.

Nothing charming about incessant engine noise. For that I could pitch my camp next to I-4.

I get what you are saying and know that there will be things that drive me crazy but right now.... It's the Fort. I haven't been in almost two years. I just wanna be at the Fort. Besides there is the group of loud obnoxious drunks I plan on visiting with....

Yes, agree, the Fort is the Fort, but that doesn't mean I like roaring car engines.

No.

Yes.

Great tour of the 700 loop.

Interesting rant. I'm not a fan of the racetrack noise either.

TCD

Let's start a petition or something!

I love that mug too, it has character, lol! I love Nascar, but not sure I like the track being at WDW.

You know, it's fine that they wanted to build a speedway. Fine...build it miles away from the resort areas.

Thanks for all the great comments, everyone! And PLEASE -- keep 'em coming!

[The Troll 67]

OK, it's time to take a Troll spin around the Settlement area!

It was still very early in the morning and Mrs. Troll was still in the camper, sipping her coffee, so I decided to grab my camera, hop in the Kenny cart, and snap some quick photos.

The first thing that struck me was how empty the Settlement area was. Sure, it was early, but still! Check out the empty golf cart parking lot:

And, as always expected in a Fort trip report, here's the Lawnmower Stump:

That is a stump, right? It's not what enters your mind when someone says the term "tree stump." But it's the bottom end of a cut down tree...which is a stump, right?

Ever wonder when the grass gets mowed at the Fort? Well, really early in the morning! See:

Few people realize it, but an old 1800s cannon and its caisson used to sit right here:

Those barrel flower pots containers sit right where the caisson used to sit. The cannon was on the opposite side of this tree. See the fence around this landscaped grassy lawn area? It wasn't always there. When the Fort first opened, the cannon and its caisson sat right here in this grass and annoying, undisciplined children like me would play on them. I thought they were just extensions of the playground. Tired of all the snotty urchins playing all over the cannon and caisson, the Fort managers -- probably those same ones who made the tough decision to shut down the FWRR -- erected this fence around this area.

Then somewhere along the way, I guess cannons were deemed politically incorrect for forts, so it was removed.

Anyway, these flowers are pretty, but they don't hold a candle to the coolness of a cannon:

I turned my attention over to the Pioneer Hall and noticed these kids having fun:

Funny, isn't it? There are multi-million dollar attractions like elaborate log flumes and runaway train rides to be experienced, but instead give kids a $2 hula hoop or a checker board, and they have just as much fun.

Ah, and here you are, driving a Kenny cart:

Ah, wherever you are reading this (*cough* work *cough*), just for a moment, ease back into your chair, relax every muscle in your body, and imagine yourself cruising at 5mph through the Settlement area at the Fort. No crowds, no hassles...and there's an ice cold mimosa in the drink holder...

Oh, um...wait, wait, wait, no! No! Not a mimosa. An orange juice. An ice cold orange juice...yes, that's what I meant to say.

Anyway, here's some pictures of flowers in those stupid barrels that displaced the awesome weapon of mass destruction that used to sit here:

This one sucks:

But you got it anyway. Sorry.

Such a good sign (pun intended):

And now I've driven up alongside the Settlement Trading Post, at the entrance of the nature trail:

That green stuff in the water has been the subject of a tremendous amount of talk here at FF.net. Remind me to tell you a very personal story about that green stuff.

And when I say "personal," I mean personal.

And when I say "story," I mean calamity...

...as in me in the green stuff.

That story comes later. Don't let me forget.

Anyway, I decided to take a hike down the nature trail. Maybe there were some good, you know, nature things to take pictures of.

Here's my first picture of nature stuff:

And here's another. Can you say, "Overexposed?"

Horrible.

So here's another try:

Much better. Amazing what a difference an f-stop or two make.

These bushes with these yellow flowers grow like wild around here:

Oh, wait -- I guess they are wild, right?

Here's a picture of one of those growing wildly yellow flowers:

I then turned to continue on on my journey down this lovely nature trail...

...when suddenly I had to jump out of the way.

A lady driving a Hyundai Sonata was headed straight for me!

I was so close to getting hit, I didn't have time to snap a picture of the car coming at me. But I got this one of the car going away from me, back toward the Settlement Trading Post:

Funny...I was almost run over. I would have been had I not athletically jumped out of the way. And so when I looked into the car to give the driver a dirty look...

...she waved hello.

Kill them with kindness, as they say.

Even when you almost commit homicide.

Anyway, so I decide to continue on. But then I realized I had left the Kenny cart right at the mouth of the nature trail. The cast member driving the Hyundai Sonata would be stuck! For a moment I thought, "Good! Serves her right for almost mowing me over!" but then that annoying thing called my "conscience" got the better of me.

So I trotted back to the opening of the nature trail.

But when I got there, I realized I had broken a sweat in vain:

Somehow she had nosed her Hyundai in between that little opening between the Kenny cart and the canal! Heck, she could have lost traction and slid into the canal.

That would have been entertaining.

She would have the green stuff all over her.

And I least I wouldn't be the only human being on earth to befall that terrible fate.

Anyway, I decided I had better get back to camp. Mrs. Troll was probably done with her coffee by now.

Coming up next, the Great Flood hits.

[michele j 9]

Ok reminding you to tell us the story calamity of you in the green stuff.

Are there pictures? :)

[fladogfan aka Gretchen 259]

What a jerk.....would have been justice for her to take a dip in the slimmy green stuff.

[SCTigerCock 171]

Nothing charming about incessant engine noise. For that I could pitch my camp next to I-4.

Yes, agree, the Fort is the Fort, but that doesn't mean I like roaring car engines.

Sure Can, Brown's Speedweeks Campground, Right off I-4/I-95. Bestest Cow Pasture for tent camping and RV camping for the 500... :jumpforjoy

WAIT, you were being sarcastic.....WELLL, I Nevah....... :rofl2: :flush2:

And here's another. Can you say, "Overexposed?"

Better the pic be over exposed than..........

:clint:

Much better. Amazing what a difference an f-stop or two make.

Got nuttin. :rofl3:

Enjoying the TR! Great pics!!

I haven't noticed the Petty Experience noise before. I imagine it is annoying for non NASCAR fans. Maybe I did hear it, and didn't pay attention to it. Will have to keep my good ear out for it.

[stefa70 205]

See? I knew it!!! The Troll has a conscience! Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.

I'm really disappointed that you only have 49 posts. Your commentary is great and you really should chime in more.

I love a good personal story. Can't wait to hear about your encounter with the green slime. We won't let you forget!

For Genia:

You may be able to hear the RP experience this trip, as the temps are down. When it's summer, the roar of A/C's drown out a lot of the noises that you don't even realize are going on.

[Total Joker ... TJ 203]

We were just in the 2000 loop and could here the raceway loud and clear!!

[Lou... 3,118]

Yes, you can hear it from the Fort, but it's louder if you're staying at one of the real MK resorts.

If it's not an issue there, then it shouldn't be an issue for you rednecks staying at the Fort that are paying a tiny fraction of what it costs to stay at the Poly or GF.

It's not that loud and they don't run continuously throughout the day and night, it's not that big a deal, so stop your whining and deal with it.

[The Troll 67]

Ok reminding you to tell us the story calamity of you in the green stuff.

Are there pictures? :)

No, fortunately, there are no pictures. It was a most unpleasant experience...trust me, I was in no mood to whip out my camera!

What a jerk.....would have been justice for her to take a dip in the slimmy green stuff.

Honestly, it's not a fate I'd wish on my worst enemy!

Enjoying the TR! Great pics!!

I haven't noticed the Petty Experience noise before. I imagine it is annoying for non NASCAR fans. Maybe I did hear it, and didn't pay attention to it. Will have to keep my good ear out for it.

Goodness gracious, how could you not notice it? It's enough to make a sane person want to jump in a green, mucky canal and drown himself.

See? I knew it!!! The Troll has a conscience! Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.

I'm really disappointed that you only have 49 posts. Your commentary is great and you really should chime in more.

Yes, we Trolls do have a conscience. We try to make the bridge tolls very affordable.

And you're right -- I should be more active here on the boards. I lurk a lot...I read almost all the trip reports...and, of course, Mrs. Troll and I never miss a TCD trip report.

We were just in the 2000 loop and could here the raceway loud and clear!!

Did you jump in a green canal and attempt to drown yourself?

[The Troll 67]

So I just finished nearly getting run over by a Disney cast member in a Hyundai Sonata. Come to think of it, I missed my big opportunity. I should have let her hit me; I would have been able to live at the Fort for the rest of my life! Assuming, of course, that I survived getting run over.

Anyway, I was heading back to the campsite when I encountered a family walking along the cart path that leads to the Settlement area. They had an older gentleman trailing behind them. He was a really big, tall dude who looked like he was well into his 70s. He looked like he had once played for the Green Bay Packers back before they had face masks on the helmets.

The older, giant gentleman was really, really badly hobbled by a blown out knee. He was leaning on his cane very heavily and well out of breath. So I offered to take him to the marina in the Kenny cart.

He didn't bat an eye. He was sitting next to me before he even said, "Sure!"

So I rode him down to the marina. Now at the entrance to the dock, there's a very clear sign that says, "No carts beyond this point."

But that's still pretty far back from where the boat docks, so I said to my passenger, "The heck with them! What are they going to do?"

So I pressed on past the sign. Almost immediately, cast members working the dock by the little speed boats started yelling at me, "Sir! Sir! You can't go any further! You can't go any further!"

So I pretended I couldn't understand them. "What?" I yelled back as I pressed the cart closer to the end of the dock. Eventually I could tell one cast member in particular was getting very annoyed with me, so I dropped my passenger off. I was about halfway down to the end.

The cast member shouted, "Didn't you see the sign?!"

But right then my passenger stood up and started hobbling again on his cane. That made the cast member feel bad.

So, no harm, no foul. I backed the cart up and headed back for camp.

When I got there, Mrs. Troll informed me that she was heading out for the grocery store for steaks and other good stuff for dinners. I decided to stay at camp and keep the puppas company.

And that's when it hit.

Remember that picture of those blue skies I posted earlier? This one:

Two words: False. Advertising.

For right as Mrs. Troll had pulled out of the campsite, the skies opened up and a virtual tsunami started just drenching Walt's entire empire.

I had to make a beeline for the inside of the camper.

So here's a hiding-from-the-rain POV shot:

Notice my "cheater's" trip reporting notepad down by your feet.

I watched the rain pound the outside for a while:

It didn't take long for me to get bored of this, so I decided to grab the camera and take some photos of the rain storm.

I thought it would be cool to catch a raindrop falling off the corner of my mildewed awning:

But it fell too fast:

So I sped up my shutter and tried again:

Fail.

The idea is to capture the raindrop as a perfectly shaped raindrop falling from the awning, so it would be caught in midair, like it was frozen.

This is the best I could do:

Not quite what I wanted.

Oh, well.

So I tried for other interesting shots:

Anyway, so while I was busy taking pictures of nothing, I didn't notice that my beautiful, lush campsite was, um, now, um, covered entirely in water:

Take a look at the picnic table...then slowly move your eyes over to the right. See that white thing installed on my concrete pad?

You may not realize it, but that's a water drain.

Yes, a water drain.

Only a complete dolt or a Troll with an expensive camera would be dumb enough to pick a campsite in Florida that has its own storm drain.

I mean, look at this:

It's hard to tell from a still photo, but that's a river of water washing off the rest of the 700 loop into my site to drain into -- you guessed it -- that storm drain right in the middle of our campsite.

Grr!

Fortunately Mrs. Troll arrived back from the store and brought me another gift: A "barrel-cured" pickle!

Mr. Troll loves pickles.

Mr. Troll loves lots of foods.

So here you are, eating a pickle:

You must be very hungry, because you've now gobbled down over half of it:

That was one damned good pickle.

Coming up, the clouds part and we make a second attempt at getting Mr. Troll's fur groomed.

[stefa70 205]

I love pickles too!! Dill pickles, sweet pickles, fried pickles...yum!

The Troll looks so forlorn staring out the rainy window. I'm glad you went out and got the rain drop pics, or attempted to. The speckled leaf shot was cool, the standing water, not so much. That stinks!

Sorry about your rainy day. Hope you got a big juicy steak!

[Retired & Tired (Judy) 90]

Now Norm you can say anything you want on this site...EXCEPT that you don't like blowups.....We have at least 30 that we put up at Christmas at the Fort. But I can forgive you this one time. :jumpforjoy We also put up lights and trees so maybe that will make up for it.

Glad to see you back. Keep posting. :wave1:

[Big Kahuna aka John 71]

Which store by chance does these " barrel pickles" come from? That looks like it would make anyone happy. Nice photos of the leaves and rain.

[Southern Blessings 4]

That is quite a bit of water! Thanks for the tip about not picking a site with a drain.

But... I don't like pickles, lol!

[CCIntrigue...aka Gwen 547]

Really enjoying your TR! Your photos and commentary are wonderful.

I also don't like the noise from the speedway. Do enjoy hearing the EWP, the boat horns, etc. These are Disney sounds to me. But the speedway, no.

I love pickles, and that one looks great.

We've stayed in the 700 loop several times and have never had a problem with standing water -- except the one time the irrigation system wouldn't turn off and we had a small pond behind the moho -- but maintenance fixed it quickly.

Looking forward to the story about how you made contact with the green slime.

[Gots2pitt.. Jeff 64]

Wet update (sorry it wasn't drier). Not such a big.fan of pickles. Looking forward to the green slime story. Love the pictures and commentary.

[ftwildernessguy 778]

FWGuys rule for picking out a campsite. Look up, look down, look all around.

[fladogfan aka Gretchen 259]

Just read your latest post to my mil, she then told me about her grandmother making pickles in a large barrel, she said they were really good. Your's looked really good too.