The Trolls Run from Isaac!

[The Troll 67]

Hello!

Guess who's back?

It's your friendly Fort Troll.

For those of you who don't know me, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Norm, and I'm a Fort Fiend through and through. My wife Leslie and I live in Florida and typically pay three or four visits to the Fort each year. It's been a long while since I last wrote a trip report, and on our most recent visit, I got the itch again, so here I am.

First, some preliminaries. Why am I called the Troll? Well, to make a long story short, let's just say I tend to have a few very controversial opinions...and I tend to express them online...at sites like Disney forums. So that's how I got to be known as the Troll. Sort of. That's my story, anyway, and I'm sticking to it.

I'm told being opinionated here at Fort Fiends Dot Net isn't quite as risky as it was in the old place. At the old place you'd get penalty points assessed if anyone complained to the moderators about anything. Say something entirely innocuous like, say, oh, that you don't like blowup decorations at Christmas time and boom! Penalty points.

Needless to say, I was assessed many, many points at that place. I tended to get into a lot of trouble over there. And then I'd have to apologize -- not because I was really sorry but because I'd get banned otherwise.

Which happened to me anyway!

But now we have this much better, freer venue.

So be warned! If you don't like pointed, controversial opinions, you probably don't want read any further!

Otherwise, welcome! I officially cut the ribbon of this new trip report and hope you enjoy reading along.

So, again, my name is Norm and my wife is Leslie. You can just call us Mr. and Mrs. Troll. We have two very spoiled rotten dogs that we adopted from our local animal shelter -- Zoe and Elma. If you're a Troll Trip Report veteran, you've met Zoe before. Elma, on the other hand, is making her grand debut in this trip report.

Here's Zoe:

She's the star of this show. If you look closely you'll notice some black fur in the photo right against Zoe's nose. That's the butt of Elma, this dog:

Elma is Zoe's costar. I hope you like dogs, because you're going to be treated to many dog photos in this trip report.

One thing I've said many, many times here and at the old place is that anyone who camps at Fort Wilderness between the months of June and September is certifiably crazy. Why do I say that? One word: HOT. It is absolutely brutally inhumanly hot in central Florida in the summertime. And when I say hot, I mean the Devil would need a portable AC unit hot.

So if you camp at Fort Wilderness during the summertime, you are either a) from up north and therefore don't know any better or you're crazy.

Well here we were, heading on down to stay for a week at the Fort the week before Labor Day. Why? Because the Trolls live in the Florida panhandle and there was a little storm cloud named Isaac heading our way. In fact, on the Sunday we departed for the Fort, I checked the Weather Channel's website, and their prediction model had Isaac's eye slicing directly over our house. Sure Isaac was only predicted to be a Cat 2 storm when he made landfall and our house is only a few years old so it's up to hurricane building codes, but typically hurricanes leave us without power for several days, which brings me to the point I made earlier...

HOT.

And with no relief at all. Plus, we own a little 22 foot travel trailer, which I was worried about. Don't know how well little travel trailers hold up in open storage lots in Category 2 hurricanes. So that decided it. We packed up the dogs, grabbed my camera, and bugged out for safety...at the Fort.

While I haven't been posting much here at Fort Fiends, don't think I haven't been around. I'm an avid trip report reader. I read just about every single one that's written. Especially the ones written by that guy whose name I forget at the moment. Turns out that guy had just completed a trip report right before we set off for our journey. So that gave Mrs. Troll and I something to do during the 7 hour drive from our home in the Redneck Riviera to the gates of glory of the Fort.

Here's the link to that guy's trip report that we read: Hot Fun in the Summertime - TCD's August 2012 TR.

I guess that guy is kinda OK at trip reporting.

Kinda.

He needs to take more pictures, though.

It was a long drive, but the fun of reading that TR really made the time fly by.

Our puppas didn't seem to mind the long drive, either. They just curled up and slept most of the way:

Before we knew it, we were making our final approach.

See?

Notice the raindrops on the windshield. This was a harbinger of what was about to befall us. I should point out that even though Isaac was at this point projected to hit the panhandle of Florida or someplace further west, he was a big storm with lots of orbiting rain clouds.

Which, as you'll soon see, paid Mickey and the rest of the crew (including us), a not-so-friendly visit.

Here we are getting closer to the gates of glory:

I must apologize for the poor quality of these opening photos. My camera was packed away in the back of our vehicle, so Mrs. Troll was forced to snap these with her little Atrix phone, which as cameras go, ain't the greatest.

The quality of the photography in this trip report will improve.

I promise.

Mrs. Troll snapped this shot of Minnie:

Notice again the rain on the windshield. Hoo boy.

Then she hurried up and snapped a shot of Mickey:

You know, I fully understand Mickey's an icon and all, but to me, his cartoons were always dull. I always preferred Donald and Goofy. Mickey was always just too much the straight man. I much preferred Donald's anger management problem and Goofy's ineptitude.

Mrs. Troll grabbed this shot:

Yes, dreams definitely do come true at this place.

And then, behold!

Happy highway directional signs!

Notice, however, that there is no mention of the Fort on said sign. The sign says, "Magic Kingdom Resort Area," and if not mistaken, Fort Wilderness is billed as a Campground and Resort. Shouldn't it get some love on that sign? I mean, after all, that ripoff beautiful wedding pavilion isn't even a resort and it gets full center stage positioning on that sign?

What if this is your first time to the Fort and don't know the way?

It's a conspiracy against us campers, I tell you. I will provide more evidence of this conspiracy later as this report progresses.

Now we're getting really close:

And, ah yes, there it is:

And here we are, getting even closer:

Notice how little traffic there is. This is a good sign...a very good sign.

Speaking of signs, we're about to see my favorite sign in the whole wide world coming up in our next installment.

So how do you like the report so far? Trust me, there's tons more to come.

[mouseketab.....Carol 1,261]

WooHoo! Another Fort Report, can't wait to read more!!!!

[PureTcrazy...rita 380]

Hey! Glad you're back! I agree with you about being crazy to go in the summer! I'm another panhandle resident and we actually kidded around about evacuating to the Fort! I'm glad you did and I'm ready to hear more!

[dblr....Rennie 224]

Hey glad your back, you always have very differtent photos that really add to your trip reports.

[blm2003 2]

Count us in! Enjoying the TR so far, Keep it coming!

[Nicki aka Rebelstand 272]

I'm in!!!

[dvccamper 32]

Looking forward to reading more!

[Katman1356...Jason 1,140]

Count me in.

[momof3kids-Yvonne 594]

Looking forward to more.

[4Brians.....Todd 103]

We're in, too. We don't get to the fort often enough, so at times we have to live through trip reports. As far as visiting in the summer, we fit into both categories...from up north, and crazy. Our next trip is June/July of next year. For now we're just counting the days, so let's get on with the next installment of this report!

[We4mickey 6]

Looking forward to more. We're in too!

[BradyBzLyn...Mo 2,023]

Glad to see another bona fide Troll Trip Report!

Can't wait to see more awesome photos (as Norm is known to provide) and love seeing the new furry addition.

Oh yeah and bring on the controversial opinions!! Although I'd bet they're a whole lot less controversial here than "elsewhere".

Pop Quiz...

If people on FortFiends.net don't agree with each other they...

A. call each other silly names

B. hijack their threads

C. hash it out on the debate forum then have a drink together at the Fort

D. any and sometimes all of the above

What does NOT happen if someone posts something "controversial" on FortFiends.net

A. power hungry moderators issue points

B. sniveling, starlight-mint-wielding cupcakes go crying to said moderators

C. hypocritical, short-sighted board owners start swinging the banning axe like a wheat farmer at harvest

D. NONE OF THE ABOVE

Let the excellent photographs and opinions begin!!!

[DaveInTN 3,247]

Glad to see you posting another TR Norm! Looking forward to more....

[ftwildernessguy 778]

I am now living vicariously through trip reports. We need more pictures.

[CCIntrigue...aka Gwen 547]

I'm in. Anxiously awaiting more.

[Lou... 3,118]

Notice, however, that there is no mention of the Fort on said sign. The sign says, "Magic Kingdom Resort Area," and if not mistaken, Fort Wilderness is billed as a Campground and Resort. Shouldn't it get some love on that sign? I mean, after all, that ripoff beautiful wedding pavilion isn't even a resort and it gets full center stage positioning on that sign?

Where was that picture taken Norm?

The Fort is a "Magic Kingdom Resort Area" resort, I don't know why it's not on that sign.

The resort areas are not limited to just resorts. They may include other things.

The Magic Kingdom Resort includes the following:

Disney's Contemporary Resort

Disney's Fort Wilderness Resort & Campground

Disney's Grand Floridian Resort & Spa

Disney's Magnolia Palm Golf Club

Disney's Oak Trail Golf Club

Disney's Osprey Ridge Golf Club

Disney's Polynesian Resort

Disney's Wilderness Lodge Resort

Magic Kingdom Park

Shades of Green at the WDW Resort

That sign says to take a left. Was there another sign that said to take a right to the Fort?

[Gots2pitt.. Jeff 64]

I'm in, don't worry I will just ignore anything I don't agree with. :)

[Big Kahuna aka John 71]

I'm in Norm... I like your thinking, get away from Issac directly and keep the RV and everyone safe... It seems that alot of water is already on the ground. It looks like a pond behind the sign that shows no love for the Fort. Oh... we also visit in July/August and yes we're from the north and crazy...

[photogal06...Sommer 10]

Can't wait to read more! TRs with dogs in them are the best!

[fladogfan aka Gretchen 259]

I'm reading along...and you are so right it's HOT.....thank God for the inventor of AC.........

[Ok Grumpy AKA Cindy~~ 9]

I'm in to! I'm a Floridian Panhandler too and have often thought that if I were to leave I would head to the Fort!

[doodlebug....Cherie 461]

I'm in! I was there in July this year and have to agree with you, I was certifiably crazy! We had fun but it was HOT!!

[michele j 9]

I'm in. Any trip report with fur babies is good :)

[Momoffive aka Loretta 34]

Can't wait Norm!! Keep it coming!

[stefa70 205]

Welcome back Norm!!

While I'm happy to see you, I'm even more happy to see Zoe! Congrats on the new fur baby, looks like they get along quite well.