The Trolls Run from Isaac!

[CCIntrigue...aka Gwen 547]

Anyone remember the grape leaf pickles my grandmother used to make?

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Great updates, Norm.

I really appreciate your commentary. Good job!

A couple of comments that may be the subject of future Troll rants:

1. Why do the idiots who run the Fort prohibit bicycles from the path behind the Settlement Trading Post, yet any idiot castmember is free to drive up and down it in their personal car?

2. Why is there a drain in the middle of the pad on your site? That is ridiculous! Water should drain away from the pads, not onto them. That, indeed, is a dirty little secret that I did not know about the 700 loop.

And, good job giving the old guy a ride to the marina. I love how you got yelled at by the castmembers for doing this, but I'll bet if a 10 year old came zippping by on one of the rental carts, not a word would have been said.

TCD

[The Troll 67]

I love pickles too!! Dill pickles, sweet pickles, fried pickles...yum!

The Troll looks so forlorn staring out the rainy window. I'm glad you went out and got the rain drop pics, or attempted to. The speckled leaf shot was cool, the standing water, not so much. That stinks!

Sorry about your rainy day. Hope you got a big juicy steak!

Yes, I was so forlorn. Fortunately it let up pretty quick.

And we did get steaks for one of the nights we were there. I have a portable gas grill that grills them up great.

Now Norm you can say anything you want on this site...EXCEPT that you don't like blowups.....We have at least 30 that we put up at Christmas at the Fort. But I can forgive you this one time. :jumpforjoy We also put up lights and trees so maybe that will make up for it.

Glad to see you back. Keep posting. :wave1:

Ah, the blowup fiasco. I got in so much hot water over my position on blowups.

I still do not like them.

Which store by chance does these " barrel pickles" come from? That looks like it would make anyone happy. Nice photos of the leaves and rain.

Winn Dixie, believe it or not!

Really enjoying your TR! Your photos and commentary are wonderful.

Thank you! I'm so happy you're enjoying the TR and reading along!

I also don't like the noise from the speedway. Do enjoy hearing the EWP, the boat horns, etc. These are Disney sounds to me. But the speedway, no.

I love pickles, and that one looks great.

We've stayed in the 700 loop several times and have never had a problem with standing water -- except the one time the irrigation system wouldn't turn off and we had a small pond behind the moho -- but maintenance fixed it quickly.

Looking forward to the story about how you made contact with the green slime.

I hate the speedway...almost as much as I hate blow...

...never mind!

Just read your latest post to my mil, she then told me about her grandmother making pickles in a large barrel, she said they were really good. Your's looked really good too.

It was friggin' delicious. I wish I had one right now.

Great updates, Norm.

I really appreciate your commentary. Good job!

A couple of comments that may be the subject of future Troll rants:

1. Why do the idiots who run the Fort prohibit bicycles from the path behind the Settlement Trading Post, yet any idiot castmember is free to drive up and down it in their personal car?

2. Why is there a drain in the middle of the pad on your site? That is ridiculous! Water should drain away from the pads, not onto them. That, indeed, is a dirty little secret that I did not know about the 700 loop.

And, good job giving the old guy a ride to the marina. I love how you got yelled at by the castmembers for doing this, but I'll bet if a 10 year old came zippping by on one of the rental carts, not a word would have been said.

TCD

Thanks, Andrew! Yes, stay tuned, there are several more Troll Rants^TM coming up...one that touches on the rental golf cart issue.

[The Troll 67]

OK, time for an update.

In our last episode, we left off with the Trolls getting inundated by a sudden downpour. Fortunately, the downpour left us almost as quickly as it arrived. It was just enough rain to get everything nice and wet.

And make it nice and steamy and humid.

Ugh.

But that wasn't going to deter us. I had a hankering for a Dole Whip after my pickle -- plus I really still wanted to get a haircut at the Main Street barbershop. So Mrs. Troll threw the ponchos in the backpack and we headed out.

Back to the Magic Kingdom!

Before we left, however, look what Mrs. Troll bought while she was at the grocery store:

This stuff rules. It rules!

It made quick work of that mildew on my awning. I doused the awning like a madman with this stuff, let it stand about 10 minutes, and then hosed it off. The awning was as good as new! I was very happy. That soured, spoiled dirty laundry smell was driving me insane. I highly recommend this to anyone who encounters the same problem.

So now it was time for fun.

We hopped in the Kenny cart and rode over to the marina, but as we were coming out onto the dock, we heaved a sigh of disappointment as we saw the MK boat already casting off. So we'd have to wait. And it was hot. And steamy. And sticky.

Mrs. Troll was not a happy camper:

We stood over by the boat rental booth to hide from the sun. After a while, I got bored, so I decided to take some photos.

I noticed this guy parasailing:

I could be wrong, but I believe there are probably much better places in Florida than Disney to go parasailing.

There were plenty of mini speedboats waiting to be rented:

And I do mean plenty:

You know, I've seen plenty of orange cones in my day, but I can't recall ever seeing a yellow one -- until now:

Remember the hardcore tether ballers from last night? Here's a shot of the conditions they had to endure to pursue their sport:

If you get really hot while waiting for the boat, you can take a shower:

Not sure what the shower is here for. Any ideas?

That post needs a straightening:

Also if you get hot and sweaty while waiting on a boat, you can buy a Coke:

If you're OK with getting fleeced, that is.

Finally our boat arrived:

Notice the boat is empty. Also notice the new boards on the dock.

And here's another POV photo for you:

You're on your way to get a men's haircut at a theme park! You're fully cognizant of the fact that the haircut will be exorbitantly expensive, but you're OK with that because you're a mark for Disney World!

Since the boat was so empty, we didn't have to sit on the same bench:

And away we go:

Here are the sad, decrepit remains of the old shipwreck:

But I guess it makes sense that the shipwreck is all...wrecked. After all, a shipwreck is an abandoned ship, right? Wouldn't make sense if a shipwreck were somehow being preserved.

But I think they should have preserved it.

It was cool.

Look how blue the skies were now:

And here's Discovery Island in our rear view mirror:

Did you know that Discovery Island is also named Riles Island? Well, at least according to Microsoft it is. Don't believe me? Look for yourself:

http://www.bing.com/maps/default.aspx?q=disney+world&mkt=en&FORM=HDRSC4

I hated Discovery Island.

Did you know that?

I did.

I despised that place.

Some people here know that.

Why?

Because there was once a great, long Troll Rant about my hate for Discovery Island in another trip report.

I've noticed that there's been a lot of discussion here on Fort Fiends of cranes. So I figured that since everyone likes cranes so much, I'd share a photo of some we saw:

Here's another picture of the cranes being used to build stuff over at the Grand Floridian:

As we approached the MK dock, I noticed something. Something is different in this view than in yesterday's view from this vantage point:

Can you guess what it is?

Look closely.

This might give it away:

Yes, that's right -- the fall decorations are out in full! This Mickey's Not So Scary Whatever It's Called display wasn't here yesterday!

They slapped this up in one night!

Those minimum wage employees Disney fairies really work fast!

And hard!

I really like the colors in this shot:

Here's a fundamental rule of photography: Tons of light + colors = good.

Notice the crowd today:

Still not jam-packed, but definitely busier than yesterday.

Coming up next, I get that haircut!

[PureTcrazy...rita 380]

My Mama loves the barrel of pickles at Winn Dixie and the Olive bar!

These are NOT SPEEDboats! Trust me, they do not speed! My Mama kept still talks about how slow they were because she wanted to "feel the wind in her face!"

Enjoying the TR!

[mouseketab.....Carol 1,261]

The water mice you can rent from the Contemporary are much faster

[doodlebug....Cherie 461]

I think I would have to dying of thirst to pay that much for a coke! Now if they had them pre-mixed with rum I might consider it! :rofl2:

Waiting for the haircut pics! At least I'm hoping you were able to get it cut!

[stefa70 205]

Hmmm, did I read that right? You don't like blowups?

Nice crane shots. :smartass:

Looking forward to another Troll rant.

[DaveInTN 3,247]

I'm finally caught up! I have some comments to make that might take your report a step back...as I was preoccupied the past several days and got behind.

I agree on the speedway. I hate listening to that racket all day.

I do recall the 700 loop flooding on the one and only time we stayed there in December 2009. Luckily our site stayed dry...but it poured rain a couple times that week and there was standing water everywhere. You'd think they could remediate that if they really wanted to.

That pickle looks good.....I need to check out the WD store someday. The ones I've typically been in suck, but I've heard good things about that one.

Looking forward to the haircut pics....oh, and what about the cupcake? Was it good?

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Great update, Troll!

Except for the crane shots. I am 100% anti-crane. Nothing good has come from those things lately.

I'm looking forward to hearing about the barber shop. I've never even thought of getting a hair cut there, but maybe I will some day. I will wait and see how you liked it.

TCD

[The Troll 67]

My Mama loves the barrel of pickles at Winn Dixie and the Olive bar!

These are NOT SPEEDboats! Trust me, they do not speed! My Mama kept still talks about how slow they were because she wanted to "feel the wind in her face!"

Enjoying the TR!

Glad you're enjoying the TR! And I agree -- there's nothing speedy about these speedboats. But evidently, they're profitable.

The water mice you can rent from the Contemporary are much faster

What the heck is a water mouse?

I think I would have to dying of thirst to pay that much for a coke! Now if they had them pre-mixed with rum I might consider it! :rofl2:

Waiting for the haircut pics! At least I'm hoping you were able to get it cut!

Your wish will soon be my command!

Hmmm, did I read that right? You don't like blowups?

Nice crane shots. :smartass:

Looking forward to another Troll rant.

I do not like blowups.

I do not like them in a house.

I do not like them with a mouse.

I do not like them here or there.

I do not like them anywhere.

I do not like them Troll I am.

I'm finally caught up! I have some comments to make that might take your report a step back...as I was preoccupied the past several days and got behind.

I agree on the speedway. I hate listening to that racket all day.

I do recall the 700 loop flooding on the one and only time we stayed there in December 2009. Luckily our site stayed dry...but it poured rain a couple times that week and there was standing water everywhere. You'd think they could remediate that if they really wanted to.

That pickle looks good.....I need to check out the WD store someday. The ones I've typically been in suck, but I've heard good things about that one.

Looking forward to the haircut pics....oh, and what about the cupcake? Was it good?

Ah, yes, the cupcake. We haven't eaten it yet. It's still in the camper fridge!

Great update, Troll!

Except for the crane shots. I am 100% anti-crane. Nothing good has come from those things lately.

I'm looking forward to hearing about the barber shop. I've never even thought of getting a hair cut there, but maybe I will some day. I will wait and see how you liked it.

TCD

Read on, Andrew! The haircut is coming up next.

[Momof6....aka Marty 769]

Fortunately Mrs. Troll arrived back from the store and brought me another gift: A "barrel-cured" pickle!

I have not been reading this TR often enough and got behind. In my hurry to catch up, I tend to misread things. I could have sworn your wife brought you a bacon cured pickle. I thought now that is something I have to try!

Great TR! Looking forward to more!!

[The Troll 67]

OK, so the Trolls are once again headed toward the barbershop. This time, success!

Here's Mr. Troll about to get his fur trimmed:

I bet you're wondering how much I'm about to pay for this haircut. Well, here's your answer:

As you can see, my haircut set me back $19, which was probably about $10 too much.

As I was getting my hair head scalped hair cut, it struck me that I had a completely different illusion of what this barbershop was going to be like. I was expecting something like this:

But what I got was much more like this:

Only the haircut wasn't as good.

Not that it was a bad haircut -- it was OK, I guess. But it was just one of those run-the-clipper-over-your-head-for-30-seconds jobs. They didn't waste time with any of those unnecessary niceties -- like scissors...or a comb.

So, the Main Street USA barbershop gets one Troll Thumbs Down. Don't go. Well, you can go, but don't waste your money getting a haircut.

Anyway, while I was getting buzzed a la Lackland Air Force Base, Mrs. Troll snapped a few photos.

Notice what time it is:

Hiding from the rain earlier really sapped a lot of the day away.

And look here! This little guy got his very first bad haircut of his life:

Mrs. Troll didn't want to embarrass him, so she made sure his bad haircut was cropped out of the photo. Notice that his reward for enduring the bad cut was a sheet of Mickey stickers that he stuck all over his clothes.

That's Mr. Troll's leg in the background, by the way.

And here's the barbershop pole outside:

I paid for my haircut and then instructed Mrs. Troll to relinquish the photography duties back over to me.

So now that I had a nice, bad haircut, I felt very self conscious. So we decided to make me feel better by getting a Dole Whip.

But...

Why is it this confounded place can be deader than a doornail but that blasted Dole Whip line is still always wrapped around the building?!

Look:

And why is it the Dole Whip place always smells like stale vomit?

I like Dole Whips and all, but I don't like vomit.

And I don't like standing in long, steamy lines in the direct sun in central Florida while inhaling vomit fumes.

So we decided to get the heck out of there.

I had another Hawaiian frozen treat in mind...one of much more...adult variety.

But to get said adult Hawaiian frozen treat, we had to leave MK. But that was fine. So we headed back out. On the way, I decided to snap random photos of our exit.

Notice the Casey's sign in the photo above. Don't fall for that sign. Also notice what time it is.

Yep -- parade time.

All right, now, take a look at the young guy in the photo above wearing the blue shirt, standing next to the lady with the long, black, uncasual skirt. What is that thing around his waist? It looks like a hoodie, but it's got backpack straps.

Confused.

And this guy in the yellow shirt below is so excited to be at Disney World, he's texting his buddy back home about it:

Let's listen in to his chat session:

Yellow Shirt Guy: What up dude?

Buddy Not at Disney World: nm, u?

YSG: @ dizney

BNADW: kewl

YSG: y

BNADW: what u doing?

YSG: waiting for parade 2 start can't wait 2 c winnie the poo

BNADW: awesome. poo rulz

So, yeah. Isn't that deep? The text message things on today's awesome phones really keep us all connected...and pointlessly distracted.

Huh, what?

I didn't say anything.

In this picture there's a lady wearing a striped purple beach towel. Bonus Troll points if you find her:

You know, I wonder why people call me the Troll? I never could figure that out.

Anyway, let's see who else we can ridicule -- er, I mean, um, you know, let's see what other neat details we can find.

Here we see a full grown man wearing a hat with Goofy ears:

I sure hope his girlfriend made him wear that.

And here we are approaching the Emporium:

You know what I always enjoy buying at the Emporium?

You guessed it!

Nothing!

Now you can see some of the characters in the parade:

Donald, Goofy, Chip (or Dale..who cares knows?), and Pluto!

Bonus points if you can spot the adult woman waving hello to the minimum wage 17-year-old wearing mascot costumes.

If you're new to Troll Trip Reports, welcome! And yes, this is really what you get!

And this picture is kind of dull. Not much to make fun of:

And there's the Leader of the Club that's Made for You and Me:

Oh, there's so many off color jokes I could make right now about this picture above, but I will not make them. Let's just move on.

And if you look closely in this one:

You'll notice that weird, sketchy fox thing. Don't see him? He's wearing like a green striped top hat.

Look closely.

Who is that guy, anyway?

I mean, I don't think he's a real Disney character.

He's not B'rer Fox. That's for sure. Who is he? What movie was he in? I don't know, but I see his ass all over the park. How do they decide to put that guy -- of all the great Disney characters they have in the Disney animated arsenal -- in the parade? Does he work cheap? I don't get it.

And why isn't B'rer Fox in a parade?

OK, I better wrap this installment up before I start saying things that really offend people.

Coming up next, that adult Hawaiian frozen treat!

[stefa70 205]

:rofl2:

I can guarantee you that there is nothing you could say to offend me. It is dead quiet at the Fort this morning, except for my obnoxious laughter at your update.

I've often thought about creating a blog for my adult rated trip reports, you should too. Keeping with a family theme, there are things that just can't be said or shown here.

Darn it!! I was gonna wear my striped beach towel to the MK today. Here I thought I was setting a fashion trend. Always a day late and a dollar short.

[jjbescher 17]

Yep -- parade time.

All right, now, take a look at the young guy in the photo above wearing the blue shirt, standing next to the lady with the long, black, uncasual skirt. What is that thing around his waist? It looks like a hoodie, but it's got backpack straps.

It looks to be a baby carrier

And if you look closely in this one:

You'll notice that weird, sketchy fox thing. Don't see him? He's wearing like a green striped top hat.

Look closely.

Who is that guy, anyway?

I mean, I don't think he's a real Disney character.

He's not B'rer Fox. That's for sure. Who is he? What movie was he in? I don't know, but I see his ass all over the park. How do they decide to put that guy -- of all the great Disney characters they have in the Disney animated arsenal -- in the parade? Does he work cheap? I don't get it.

It looks to be a guy from Pinocchio. http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/J._Worthington_Foulfellow

jon

[Momof6....aka Marty 769]

My children agree that he is from Pinocchio. And they are experts!

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Good job on that update! Very funny!

I want to see an "after" photo of your haircut.

Where is it?

You paid extra for the pixie dust and gel, didn't you?

TCD

[shoreline99 137]

Well, that's a bummer about your trollcut. My son had a haircut there a few years back and they did a great job. We really enjoyed the barbershop experience.

[fortpartyof4 108]

I see something funny in it. The way the guy with the backpack is standing, the wreath on the lamp post looks like it is wrapped around his head!

Enjoying your comments!

Glad I don't like Dole Whips, I wouldn't want to get a whiff of that stale vomit!

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Glad I don't like Dole Whips, I wouldn't want to get a whiff of that stale vomit!

Does that mean you like the smell of fresh vomit?

TCD

[Total Joker ... TJ 203]

Whats up with the guy in the bubble helmet??

[Southern Blessings 4]

Y'all always notice the coolest things in pics! Sorry your cut didn't work out like you wanted. I always pictured it being like an old time barber shop, sad!

[charitycase20....Charity 10]

All right, now, take a look at the young guy in the photo above wearing the blue shirt, standing next to the lady with the long, black, uncasual skirt. What is that thing around his waist? It looks like a hoodie, but it's got backpack straps.

Confused.

It IS a baby carrier...looks to be an Ergo. Those things are LIFESAVERS when you have a little one, no matter where you are!! :bellringer: I still wear my little guy on my back when he allows it! :heart:

Lovin the TR also!!

[mouseketab.....Carol 1,261]

What the heck is a water mouse?

The little speed boats. Disney calls them a Water Mouse (or they used to). The ones at the Contemporary are faster.

[The Troll 67]

:rofl2:

I can guarantee you that there is nothing you could say to offend me. It is dead quiet at the Fort this morning, except for my obnoxious laughter at your update.

I've often thought about creating a blog for my adult rated trip reports, you should too. Keeping with a family theme, there are things that just can't be said or shown here.

Darn it!! I was gonna wear my striped beach towel to the MK today. Here I thought I was setting a fashion trend. Always a day late and a dollar short.

One of the many great things about a site like this is its awesome, ready-made audience. Start a website of your own and you have to build up an audience yourself, which ain't easy.

Knowing this, I try to keep my TR's and comments rated PG.

It looks to be a baby carrier

Ah, good call, Jon.

It looks to be a guy from Pinocchio. http://disney.wikia....gton_Foulfellow

jon

I believe you're right! See below.

My children agree that he is from Pinocchio. And they are experts!

Your kids are right! Here's that joker now:

His name is J. Worthington Foulfellow.

You know, wouldn't it be great if bad guys in real life had to have last names like that? We should pass a law. Then we'd have A. Thurston Pickpocket and T. Hamilton Drugdealer.

Anyway, I'm glad we've finally identified this nimrod. Why is he in parades? Shouldn't the Disney villains be in Disney jail? Should we really be celebrating the likes of Mr. Foulfellow? What message are we sending our children, anyway? I mean, he kidnapped Pinocchio and then sold him into child slavery!

I'm not making this up.

Mr. Foulfellow should be confined to the dungeons of the Pirates of the Caribbean, not walking about free, having fun in parades.

Good job on that update! Very funny!

I want to see an "after" photo of your haircut.

Where is it?

You paid extra for the pixie dust and gel, didn't you?

TCD

The photo is coming. And unfortunately, they were fresh out of pixie dust that day.

Well, that's a bummer about your trollcut. My son had a haircut there a few years back and they did a great job. We really enjoyed the barbershop experience.

It's probably hit-or-miss, just like a real barbershop. Not that the barbershop on Main Street isn't real...oh, you know what I mean!

Whats up with the guy in the bubble helmet??

How did I miss that? I took the stinkin' photo!

I see something funny in it. The way the guy with the backpack is standing, the wreath on the lamp post looks like it is wrapped around his head!

Enjoying your comments!

Glad I don't like Dole Whips, I wouldn't want to get a whiff of that stale vomit!

Wow, I missed Mr. Wreathhead, too.

Does that mean you like the smell of fresh vomit?

TCD

I don't like either. That's why I, for one, breathe out of my mouth while standing in line at the Dole Whip joint.

Y'all always notice the coolest things in pics! Sorry your cut didn't work out like you wanted. I always pictured it being like an old time barber shop, sad!

I'm not sure I'd qualify the things in my pics "cool."