The Trolls Run from Isaac!

[The Troll 67]

Where was that picture taken Norm?

The Fort is a "Magic Kingdom Resort Area" resort, I don't know why it's not on that sign.

The resort areas are not limited to just resorts. They may include other things.

The Magic Kingdom Resort includes the following:

Disney's Contemporary Resort

Disney's Fort Wilderness Resort & Campground

Disney's Grand Floridian Resort & Spa

Disney's Magnolia Palm Golf Club

Disney's Oak Trail Golf Club

Disney's Osprey Ridge Golf Club

Disney's Polynesian Resort

Disney's Wilderness Lodge Resort

Magic Kingdom Park

Shades of Green at the WDW Resort

That sign says to take a left. Was there another sign that said to take a right to the Fort?

You know I'm not quite sure where that sign is. I don't remember seeing another one that had the Fort on it. We come in on the toll road -- I think it's 429 -- off the Turnpike. So our drive in is a bit atypical from others'.

I'm in Norm... I like your thinking, get away from Issac directly and keep the RV and everyone safe... It seems that alot of water is already on the ground. It looks like a pond behind the sign that shows no love for the Fort. Oh... we also visit in July/August and yes we're from the north and crazy...

Yes, there was a ton of standing water on the ground! Water where I had never seen it. And there was a ton more water to come!

[The Troll 67]

I want to say thanks to everyone for the warm welcome back! I was surprised by how many replies this thread got so quickly...and on a football Sunday!

Let's get on with the journey!

I mentioned in my last post that we were about to come up on my favorite sign in the whole wide world. Well here it is:

Here it is closer:

And now here we come around the bend:

What a horrible photo that one above is! You can tell by the grainy nature of the photo how overcast it was. There was so little light, the camera on Mrs. Troll was really struggling.

Now here's the guard shack:

I had some technical difficulties at the guard shack on this trip that I'll tell you about later on. It was annoying.

Then Mrs. Troll noticed this sign:

We had never noticed this sign before. What is it telling us? If you do the online check-in your keys are in the sign?

Confused.

Mrs. Troll and I used the "online check-in service" on a previous trip. We did not use it on this one. Why? Because the time we used online check-in, it was more like online self-flagellation. It was complete fail. They way it "worked" when we used it was, they had a designated check-in line for the online checker-inners. Of course, checking in online did not make the actual process of checking in any faster or different. All it did was confine you to using the lane designated for online check-in. We would have checked in much faster had we just gone down one of the other lanes.

So this time we steered clear of online check-in. Maybe they've improved it since we used it last. Like adding a weird sign.

Either way, it didn't matter on this trip:

See? No line! See that RV with the trailer over on the left? Well, as we approached, it was letting off the brake and rolling through. So we had zero wait. That's exactly where we got called up, which meant we had to do the passenger checks in deal.

What happens, by the way, when you get a passenger checks in line and you don't have a passenger? You have to lean all the way across the seat, I guess.

Anyway, here we are, checking in:

Notice that Elma has decided she wants to help check in.

She was standing on my center console:

She looked like one of those goats that stands on the point of a rock on a mountaintop. I didn't like it.

So I yelled at her to get in the backseat. But she ignored me:

Anyway, since this was a last minute trip, we had a reservation for a premium site. Well, considering our dinky little 22 foot travel trailer doesn't need a heck of a lot of concrete pad space, we didn't really need or want a premium site. So we asked the cast member checking us in if she could downgrade us.

Unfortunately the answer was no.

The Fort, you see, at this point -- the week before the Labor Day weekend -- was almost entirely empty. But, we were told, the Fort was booked solid for the weekend itself.

Meaning we were stuck in a premium loop.

And stuck with a premium loop price.

Dislike.

But, oh well. It was last minute. And we never stayed in a premium loop before, so it would be a new experience.

The cast member did say that we had our pick of which premium loop we wanted -- except the 800 loop. She said the 800 loop was closed for electrical work being done.

Interesting.

So, not knowing anything at all about premium loops, we asked for a map:

Notice my dog is still defying me...only worse. She is now sticking her head out the window so that the cast member can pet her.

Anyway, on a whim, I suggested we try out the 700 loop, Cinnamon Fern Way. Or is it Cinnamon Fern Trail? I forget.

Regardless, we picked the 700 loop. What the heck, right? A loop's a loop, right?

Ha ha ha.

Famous last words.

Oh, we also had to sign the pet waiver and were told about the $5 a night pet "fee." What do you get for $5 a night?

Poop bags, that's what.

You know, the bags out of those dispensers that you use to pick up your dog's poop.

Those are some very expensive poop bags.

You can buy several boxes of poop bags for $5.

So I made it a point to use the Disney poop bags and not the poop bags we had packed ourselves for the trip. But then the cast member informed us that she had waived the $5 a night pet fee since she wasn't able to downgrade us! Maybe I shouldn't be posting that here in a public forum, as maybe she wasn't supposed to do that, but she did!

But I still resolved to use those Disney poop bags.

So with the pet fee waived, the cast member informed us that our site number was 718. So I put the Troll Mobile back in drive and headed for it. As we did, we snapped one more parting grainy photo of the Reception Center:

Coming up next, we learn the bitter reality about the 700 loop and its dark secret.

[Lou... 3,118]

We come in on the toll road -- I think it's 429 -- off the Turnpike. So our drive in is a bit atypical from others'.

It is 429, and then you get off at Western Way to BVD.

That's a good way to get to WDW if you don't like I-4.

What's strange is that there are 8 "Resort Areas", but for some reason there are only signs on that road for three of them and as you noticed, FW is missing. Good eye.

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

NORM!!!

Glad to see you back.

And, good job so far on the TR.

If I am remembering right, you have not visited the Fort in the summer time for a while.

I have my fingers crossed that you saw the display on the 1800 loop.

I thought of you and your love for decorated campsites when I saw that site during my trip in August.

Bring it on!

TCD

[doodlebug....Cherie 461]

Love the update! I guess we can see who the new boss in the Troll family is. Go, Elma!!

[SCTigerCock 171]

You mean I have to pay 5 bucks a night AND pick up Sav's mess?

I'm so going to use your Disny poo bag logic. Aka DPBL. :clint:

On a serious note, thanks for being a responsible owner and picking up after your pups.

:heart:

[DaveInTN 3,247]

Is the deep dark secret of the 700 loop the fact that it does not have a comfort station? We stayed there one time and that was the killer for me. I didn't like my girls having to cross the expressway to take a shower.

[charitycase20....Charity 10]

Woo hoo!! Great TR so far!! Can't wait to read more. :)

[Southern Blessings 4]

Looking forward to reading more!

[ajcjmom 8]

I'm in!

[CCIntrigue...aka Gwen 547]

Coming up next, we learn the bitter reality about the 700 loop and its dark secret.

Anxious to hear about the dark secret. We love the 700 loop!

[michele j 9]

Wohoo! Looking foward to more.

I love the pic of your dog standing on the console :heart: too cute. They always have to see whats going on.

Do you have to pay a pet deposit for cats? When we do go we will be bringing 3 cats.

I'm a fort virgin.

[BradyBzLyn...Mo 2,023]

Are your sure your new furry friend hasn't been to the Fort before? She sure looks like she knows she's someplace great!

[The Troll 67]

Thanks so much for all the support so far! An update is coming soon, but first let's have some fun with comments!

It is 429, and then you get off at Western Way to BVD.

That's a good way to get to WDW if you don't like I-4.

What's strange is that there are 8 "Resort Areas", but for some reason there are only signs on that road for three of them and as you noticed, FW is missing. Good eye.

Absolutely. 429 is, to us, the best kept route secret associated with Disney. Sure it's a toll road, but it's so worth it to avoid the madness of I-4.

NORM!!!

Glad to see you back.

And, good job so far on the TR.

If I am remembering right, you have not visited the Fort in the summer time for a while.

I have my fingers crossed that you saw the display on the 1800 loop.

I thought of you and your love for decorated campsites when I saw that site during my trip in August.

Bring it on!

TCD

Ah ha. It's good to see you, too, Mr. TDD or whatever you call yourself.

You are correct -- we have not visited the Fort in the summertime a long, long while, as we are not crazy.

And yes, we saw that 1800 loop atrocity. I have pictures of it. And lots and lots of commentary about it. It's coming. Trust me...I would not allow that to go unnoticed.

To those of you who are new to Troll Trip Reports, one of my very strong, controversial opinions is my position on site decorations. You know the Greyhound Bus Line? Well, they have a slogan that goes, "Go Greyhound...and leave the driving to us!" Well, I believe the Fort's motto should be, "Camp Disney...and leave the decorating to us!"

But that's just me.

Love the update! I guess we can see who the new boss in the Troll family is. Go, Elma!!

Yes, she is spoiled rotten! She was very timid when we first got her a year ago from the shelter, but now she thinks she's the boss.

Is the deep dark secret of the 700 loop the fact that it does not have a comfort station? We stayed there one time and that was the killer for me. I didn't like my girls having to cross the expressway to take a shower.

Good guess! And I agree with you -- I don't like that the 700 loop doesn't have a comfort station of its own. However, that is not the secret I alluded to.

Wohoo! Looking foward to more.

I love the pic of your dog standing on the console too cute. They always have to see whats going on.

Do you have to pay a pet deposit for cats? When we do go we will be bringing 3 cats.

I'm a fort virgin.

I believe the pet deposit is a pet deposit, regardless of what type of pet you bring. I could be wrong, but I think that's the case.

Are your sure your new furry friend hasn't been to the Fort before? She sure looks like she knows she's someplace great!

I know, right? It was weird. As soon as we started pulling in to the Fort, Elma woke up from a deep sleep and started really getting excited!

OK, folks, the next installment is in the works! Stay tuned!

[BradyBzLyn...Mo 2,023]

...I believe the pet deposit is a pet deposit, regardless of what type of pet you bring. I could be wrong, but I think that's the case.

You are correct sir - although I have heard of a few folks smuggling in beta fish and not paying the fee.

Oh and it's $5/night regardless of how many pets you bring.

[michele j 9]

Thanks for answers on the pet deposit.

[AC in A2......Aaron 693]

Caught up and thanks for getting back in the TR game!

[mommy rainbo.....Bo 41]

New trip report. I'm in and waiting for more.

[The Troll 67]

OK, time for the next installment of the Troll's Exciting Escape from Hurricane Isaac.

We left off with us pulling through the Reception Outpost and making a beeline for the 700 loop, which the Trolls had never stayed in before. We were amped up about a new loop experience. But once we entered the loop, we very quickly learned of the Cinnamon Fern Way's dark secret that I alluded to in my previous installment -- during heavy rains, the loop floods...

Badly.

Remember I said we had been assigned site 718? Well here's what we saw when we went to pull in:

Mind you, it was currently not raining. In fact, if you look closely, you'll notice that the concrete pad is beginning to dry off, yet there's a ton of standing water right about where our camper's step would be. Not good.

So we decided to pull forward a spot, but we didn't like the looks of it, either. See for yourself:

See all that water on the left butting up against the concrete? It's already up to the edge. I knew that as soon as the rain began to fall again, we'd need galoshes just to get in and out of the camper.

So we pulled forward to yet another spot. This was site 722, and while it was wet and had a lot of standing water, there was none on the concrete pad itself. So we agreed to pull into it and just call the Reception Outpost and tell them we had moved.

No allow me to clarify. A lot of areas in the Fort flood during heavy rains; however, typically your concrete pad and gravel area are well elevated so that all the woodsy area around you might flood like a swamp, but the space your camper is on is, for the most part, dry...or at least not under water. But that isn't the case in the 700 loop. Many, many sites were just plain flooded.

And while site 722 looked safe for now, I would soon learn that our assumption was wrong.

More on that later. But for now, we were bliss in our ignorance, as I thought we had happened upon the nicest site in all of Fort Wilderness. Indeed, 722 is gorgeous...when it's not raining. Take a look:

Notice all the beautiful, lush, full foliage all around the site. You can barely tell you even have any neighbors! I loved this about the site. I love the Fort to death, but one of the things I don't like about many loops is the fact that you're lucky if you have two skinny pine trees separating you from the people on your left and right. When I camp, I want to feel like I'm in the woods, not a parking lot.

Site 722 definitely made me feel like I was in the woods. Look at all that brush! That's how all of Fort Wilderness used to be back in the 70s and 80s. So I was very, very happy at this point.

Here's a shot from the back of 722 looking back toward the road:

Notice the standing water up front.

I also hope you've noticed that the quality of the photography has improved. I fetched my real camera from the back of the Troll Mobile as soon as we finished backing in.

Happy with our site, it was time for me to take the trailer off the hitch.

My trailer has awesome sway bars. Here I am removing them:

No, I did not drive with the lock pin of the sway bars missing! I had already removed the lock pin before snapping this photo.

Anyway, as I was doing this, Mrs. Troll's cell phone began to ring. It was an old friend calling to deliver good news.

Coming up next, I tell you what the good news is and I'm treated to a surprise gift!

Again, thanks for everyone reading along so far!

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Wow- that site 718 looked bad. Who wants to camp in a puddle? You want to know why that happened? Because the idiot managers who decided to add all the pavement to the old sites didn't bother to grade the new concrete so water runs off. The old slabs were graded just enough so water would run off. Then they just added new concrete around the existing pads. So, the old concrete drains onto the new concrete and pools. A bunch of geniuses. And, for that added concrete, you have the privilege of paying an extra $20 a night or more over the old rates.

You would have been better off in the 1900 loop!

TCD

[Southern Blessings 4]

That first site was way too wet, but I'm guessing the site you got might have ended up the same way too?

[BradyBzLyn...Mo 2,023]

holy moley that's a lotta watta!

[The Troll 67]

Wow- that site 718 looked bad. Who wants to camp in a puddle? You want to know why that happened? Because the idiot managers who decided to add all the pavement to the old sites didn't bother to grade the new concrete so water runs off. The old slabs were graded just enough so water would run off. Then they just added new concrete around the existing pads. So, the old concrete drains onto the new concrete and pools. A bunch of geniuses. And, for that added concrete, you have the privilege of paying an extra $20 a night or more over the old rates.

You would have been better off in the 1900 loop!

TCD

You know, you're absolutely right, Andrew. Really they need to jackhammer up all the concrete pads in the 700 loop, shore up the foundation, and pour new concrete. Shame, because the 700 loop is, I think, the prettiest loop in the campground.

That first site was way too wet, but I'm guessing the site you got might have ended up the same way too?

Don't give away the surprise!

OK, folks, it's time for another update! Sorry the last one was so brief. I'll try to get some more content in this one and really get this TR roaring. Let's go!

So when we last left off, I had just pulled the mobile Troll cave into site #722. I was just beginning to get unhitched when Mrs. Troll cell phone rang. Remember, this was a last minute trip in response to a hurricane that was bearing down on us. So Mrs. Troll didn't have all the time she normally does to plan for her plan to make a plan for her master plan.

Mrs. Troll is a serious planner.

That means we had no time to make arrangements for a Kenny Cart.

But guess who was on the phone?

Yep! Kenny!

He had good news for us -- despite it being last minute, he had a cart for us.

Now, allow me to go off on a tangent for a moment. For those of you who rent golf carts at the Fort from Disney, allow me to give you one word of advice: Stop.

Kenny will give you a much better price for a much better cart and with much better service. It depends on how long you want to rent the car for, but oftentimes you can get an awesome cart from Kenny for half the price of what Disney wants. And Kenny's carts are way better -- much, much faster and no annoying horn.

More on the annoying golf cart horns later.

For now, Kenny had a cart for us. All we had to do was pick it up. Kenny had left it at the cart parking lot up by the overflow parking lot. So Mrs. Troll hopped in the Troll Mobile to get it. We had to get new room keys cut, after all, since we had changed sites. So the plan was she'd drop me off at the cart parking lot so I could snag the Kenny cart while she got new room keys.

Still not convinced Kenny carts aren't awesome? Well, check out ours:

Yes, almost all Kenny carts come equipped with rain enclosures!

Adorable dogs, however, are not included.

Yes, the Troll Mutts absolutely love riding in the golf cart.

They just get completely thrilled whenever we say, "Wanna go for a ride?"

Anyway, so I drove the Kenny cart back to the site and got busy setting up shop.

Before I did, though, I realized I hadn't taken a picture of our site marker yet. Every trip report must have a picture of the site marker. It's a must. A trip report isn't a trip report without a picture of your site marker. So I grabbed my camera and got to work.

Of course, I always try to add a create flair to my site marker photo. That's how I roll. So I took the first photo, wasn't satisfied, so I took another...and another...and another. So you know what? You get them all.

All at no extra charge.

OK, that one above was way too plain. Not enough artistic expression. Let's try again:

Now we're talking, but I'm still not happy. So here's this one:

Meh. Boring.

Wait -- I'm describing a picture of a completely mundane object "boring."

Yeah. Anyway, here's the next one:

I kinda like this one but you can see all the ugly camper junk in my neighbor's site. So here's another:

Still too much neighbor junk, despite my efforts at zooming.

So then there's this one:

I liked the green leaves in the foreground, so I took this one:

I tried one from a different angle:

Are you getting tired of this yet?

I know I am.

And then, at last, I snapped the one I liked best and was satisfied:

Look at that! Talk about creative expression! I am so glad our Founding Fathers took the time out of their busy business schedules to meet, argue about, and write up (with a bird's feather, no less) the Bill of Rights to protect my freedoms to do this.

I bet they're looking down and smiling.

Their hard work didn't go to waste.

Their legacy lives on.

Well, despite all the fun I was having photographing banal, humdrum practical objects, I realized that Mrs. Troll would be back soon with those new room keys. And when she got back she'd ask why the campsite wasn't set up yet and what I'd been doing all the while she was gone. I didn't think she'd be too happy not seeing her folding recliner set up because I was too busy taking dozens of nonsensical photos of nothing, so I got back to work.

So the next thing on my agenda was to get the retractable awning set up. I figured it would be a good idea to get some additional shelter just in case the skies opened up on us again.

And here's where I really, really need the help of my fellow Fort Fiends. I'm serious here. Please, any advice, please don't hesitate. What do I need help with? Well, examine this photo:

Do you see all those horrible stains? Well, this photo doesn't do all the staining justice.

Allow me to describe a certain personality quirk of mine. Have you ever run a load of laundry and forgotten to take it out and throw it in the dryer...for like a week? You know that wretched, horrid stench of soured clothing that emanates from the washer when you finally remember the load and open the lid?

That smell, to me, is the worst smell the human olfactory senses can detect. Worse than a Porta-Potty at tailgate party at a sold out University of Alabama football game. Worse than a rotting skunk that was smashed by a speeding tractor trailer three days ago. Worse than milk that's been sitting in the fridge for two days after the power has gone out.

Ugh. I hate that smell.

Well, that's what greeted my nostrils when I unfurled that stinking awning.

My problem is -- and this is the problem I need help with -- I store my camper in an open storage lot. So when it rains, even though the awning is rolled up tight, moisture still gets inside it. And then mildew and black mold grows inside it. And then I unroll it and want to go snort a nasal spray of bleach and Pine Sol.

Mind you, this camper is only a year old. I have scrubbed that stupid awning at least a half dozen times, yet every single time after the camper has sat for more than a week, I am treated to this delightful stench. So before I unloaded anything else, I grabbed a bottle of detergent and started scrubbing.

Which isn't easy.

Have you ever tried scrubbing the underside of one of these RV awnings?

It ain't fun.

And making matters so much worse was the fact that for all my scrubbing, those stains and their associated stench weren't budging.

So, my fellow Fort Fiends, please advise me. How do I prevent this from happening in the future?!? There has to be some secret to prevent this from happening again. Please...help!

Anyway, while I was frantically trying to scrub that mess off the awning -- and failing -- Mrs. Troll returned with the new room keys.

And a gift.

She had stopped off at the Meadow(s) Trading Post on her way back to the site for a bag of ice. While she was there, she grabbed this for me:

Isn't it grand?!

As you can see, I used the hood of the Troll Mobile as a light table for the picture.

It was so thoughtful of Mrs. Troll to get this for me. I had been wanting one of these official Fort coffee mugs since they came out...and now I had one. I couldn't wait to try it out.

Here's another shot:

And another:

Isn't it awesome?

OK, more to come in just a bit. I want to go ahead and post this before something bad happens and I have to retype it all again!

[Nicki aka Rebelstand 272]

sorry about the stink.. love the mug

[The Troll 67]

OK, picking up right where we left off, I was obsessively scrubbing my travel trailer's awning when Mrs. Troll arrived back from getting new room keys cut. She had delivered unto me a brand spanking new Chip and Dale coffee mug, and I was thrilled.

She noticed the bucket of soapy water and inquired what I was doing, so I explained to her the dilemma of the stinky, mildew-ridden awning. She suggested that I Febreeze it. Willing to try anything, I did. I doused it in Febreeze. And you know what?

It worked!

For all of five minutes.

After that, the stench was back in full force. So I asked Mrs. Troll to pick me up a gallon of bleach whenever she was going to the grocery store to stock up on food for the week. I also asked her to grab a couple 9 volt batteries, as I also had this problem:

Yes, my smoke detector battery was dead. It had been chirping incessantly all the way from Freeport, Florida. It's probably a really good idea to check these things every single time you take the camper out. It was probably chirping for days or even weeks while it was sitting in the storage lot!

So Mrs. Troll and I worked together to finish getting set up, and by the time we were done, we both agreed it was time for an adult libation. There was a porch with rocking chairs with a convenient walk-up bar window calling our names. So we cranked up the AC in the camper so that it was freezing cold and put the pups down for a nap.

Check them out:

If you haven't gathered it by now, our dogs rule the roost. Some people don't let their dogs up on the furniture or in their beds...

But we do.

Zoe was ready to snooze:

So once the dogs were comfortable, we hopped in our newly acquired Kenny cart and headed over to Crockett's Tavern!

But when we got there, we saw this:

I flashed a glance at my watch and felt my heart sink -- it was only 2:45!

Old Davey Crockett wouldn't be opening up his tavern for over another hour!

Ugh.

So I suggested we walk over to the Settlement Trading Post and grab some $7 domestic beers out of the chiller. So we headed over. On the way, I snapped a quick photo:

Once inside, however, we were informed by the cast member that their chillers were out of order, so all their beer was warm.

Ironically, she then suggested that we go across the street to Crockett's. There's a bar over there, she said.

Um, yeah. Thanks for nothing.

As we walked back toward the Kenny cart, it dawned on us: We live in Central time zone. The Fort is in Eastern time zone. And I hadn't changed the time on my watch.

So it wasn't 2:45, it was 3:45!

We just had to wait a few minutes and Mr. Crockett would be tapping his keg!

Yee ha!

So we ran back to the porch and claimed two primo rocking chairs before any crowd developed.

We picked this position on the side porch facing the playground:

Of course you would never know that these rocking chairs face the playground because you can't see through all the wildly overgrown landscaping bushes. I mean, what is up with this? Is the landscaping guy on strike? Isn't the idea the parents can sit here and get snockered and keep an eye on the kids as they slide down the slides and swing on the swings?

Heck, a snockered parent's kids might jump aboard the boat to Magic Kingdom and the snockered parent would be none the wiser, thanks to these overgrown bushes:

Ah well. We didn't worry too much about it. We have no small children of our own...and it was time for us to get snockered.

So Mrs. Troll went and ordered us some drinks once the takeout window opened up. She got an ice cold beer for herself and a tall, spicy Bloody Mary for me:

This allows me to introduce one of the many photo themes I put together for this trip report -- first person POV photos. The idea is simple -- throughout the trip, I took a series of photos depicting myself doing something from a first person perspective so that you, fair Troll Trip Report reader, can pretend were along with us on the trip!

So here's the very first POV photo of the set:

You see?! You're sitting on the porch of Trail's End, sipping a Bloody Mary!

And here's another one:

You're kicked back in the rocking chair with your feet up on the rail, looking out toward the marina!

Notice, by the way, the crowd.

There isn't one!

None at all!

There's not another living soul in the photo!

I really hope you like the POV series, because I have a lot of them to share.

OK! It's getting late, so this is the end of this installment. More to come in the morning.

Coming up next, a very special visitor stops by as we drink our drinks and I explore the 700 loop.