The Trolls Return to the Fort

[Travisma 1,317]

That one I get. Don't get Indian Springs

 

 

I didn't either, but thanks to the mighty GOOGLE I found this.....

 

 

River Country

History Dry Pics

Wet Pics

Merch/Souvenir Pics

History

"A Full Day Of Water Fun! - Rapids! Falls! Slides!"

 

 

 

Indian Springs - This was a small interactive play area for kids, with water squirters.

 

[Beckers 1,136]

Sadly, I never went to River Country.

[DaveInTN 3,247]

I think one reason Saratoga Springs is boring is that it was originally built as the Disney Institute.  "Hey kids, who wants to go on vacation at Disney World and take educational classes?" 

 

ADEI.....Another Dumb Eisner Idea. 

 

Disney Institute was modeled after the Chautauqua Institute in Western New York.  I grew up very close to there, and performed there every summer for a number of seasons in high school.  It's a beautiful place, and very historic, but is very much for the NPR-listening, Saab-driving, lecture-loving crowd.  Great place to take a nap.  Not so great if your idea of fun is golf carts and beer, followed by raucus belching. 

[caveat lector 181]

Whoa there cowboy!

Why did the SS facility not get a Troll letter grade? It's integral for us commoners to get a relative feel.

[GaDawgFan.....Kelly 799]

Whoa there cowboy!

Why did the SS facility not get a Troll letter grade? It's integral for us commoners to get a relative feel.

 

I'm guessing D-.

[The Troll 67]

We have stayed at SS and we really liked it. It had a very clean country club feel to it.

 

Well, to each his own. Yes, it's clean. And drab.

 

Got to say I am pro Troll rant, not really feeling Troll positivity. I'm glad you are done being positive!

 

I'm glad, too. I feel much better now. The Dark Side is so much nicer than the Light Side.

 

What's with the sooner reference?

Beach Club has a similar food court gift shop combo thing.

Nice save. Saying that Donald rules. We all know that you loved watching the little booger eating bed wetters playing in the Donald Duck fountain.

The pool does look really nice.

 

Sooners were the conmen who crossed into the unsettled territory before it was proclaimed legal to do so to grab up all the good land for themselves. They were cheaters...thieves. Kind of like the dogs who go down to the Meadows pool and throw towels on a half dozen chairs to claim them for later so that no one else can use them in the meantime. Why in the world the good state of Oklahoma chose to adopt that as its moniker is beyond me. It should have named itself, "The Boomer State."

 

Boomer! Sooner!

Ghost of KFK strikes again.

 

Boomers were the good guys; sooners were crooks.

 

I think you found one of the theatres Disney uses for their arts programs. Outside groups (often schools) perform in various places across property. Our chorus performed at the SS venue for a music festival a few years back. I thought they got the short end of the stick. Imagine thinking you are performing in a park and instead you wind up st SS. Disappointing.

Which is my general feeling about SS in general.

Rant on!

 

Yeah, that does sound like a letdown. Did anyone come to the show?

 

As an owner of Saratoga Springs points, I would agree with the Troll.  I love the honesty of your reports.  I do not want to hear that everything is great, when it is not.  If I wanted to hear that I would go ask for a DVC video or a video made from Disney on the parks.  The resort is nothing special.  However, it is one of the biggest resorts and therefore most of the time has availability.  Which is nice when you have points available and need to get a room last minute.

 

The food at Artists Palette is one of the better Quick Service places.  They just redid the spa, the gym does not seem to have changed.

 

The rooms are nothing special, also they have made more of the pools have features so that the main pool does not get so crowded.  I know it has 3 total themed pools.  I have not been to the others yet, but have not stayed there in a while.

 

In list of DVC Resorts at WDW for me it would go Beach Club, Bay Lake, Wilderness Lodge, Old Key West, Saratoga, Boardwalk.  We have not stayed at Animal Kingdom or Grand Floridian, but these most likely will go before Saratoga.

 

Yes -- I am generally anti-DVC (surprise!) but there are many that are much nicer than SS.

 

I wonder how many people caught the Indian Springs reference?

 

I did.

 

Nicely played.

 

TCD

 

Ha ha. I was checking to see if you were paying attention! Clearly your game is still as sharp as ever.

 

Can't forget Radiator Springs

 

Good one. I didn't like the "Cars" movie, so I didn't get it at first.

 

 

 

I didn't either, but thanks to the mighty GOOGLE I found this.....

 

 

River Country

History Dry Pics

Wet Pics

Merch/Souvenir Pics

History

"A Full Day Of Water Fun! - Rapids! Falls! Slides!"

 

 

 

Indian Springs - This was a small interactive play area for kids, with water squirters.

 

 

Yes! Google makes all things possible!

[The Troll 67]

Sadly, I never went to River Country.

 

You missed out on something very special. Typhoon Lagoon is very similar to it, though. I think a lot of us who hold River Country so near and dear to our hearts feel the way we do for two reasons: 1) Nostalgia and 2) Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Like in 1984, when Coca Cola did away with Classic Coke and replaced it with the "better tasting" New Coke.

 

The Coca Cola company should bring back New Coke as a throwback, kind of like how the NFL has teams play games in their really old uniforms.

 

I think one reason Saratoga Springs is boring is that it was originally built as the Disney Institute.  "Hey kids, who wants to go on vacation at Disney World and take educational classes?" 

 

ADEI.....Another Dumb Eisner Idea. 

 

Disney Institute was modeled after the Chautauqua Institute in Western New York.  I grew up very close to there, and performed there every summer for a number of seasons in high school.  It's a beautiful place, and very historic, but is very much for the NPR-listening, Saab-driving, lecture-loving crowd.  Great place to take a nap.  Not so great if your idea of fun is golf carts and beer, followed by raucus belching. 

 

Yeah, that Disney Institute thing was a corny, idiotic idea. Fail.

 

Whoa there cowboy!

Why did the SS facility not get a Troll letter grade? It's integral for us commoners to get a relative feel.

 

Sorry! See below.

 

I'm guessing D-.

 

I wouldn't be that hard on it. SS gets a C. Not a C-, not a C+, just a C. Plain, boring, unspectacular, not bad and not good. That grade perfectly describes the place.

[The Troll 67]

All right...it's time for a quick Troll Update.

 

You know, I've noticed that the Fort Fiends website is running much better lately. I'm not getting SQL errors every time I try to post something anymore. So my thanks goes out to the landlords of Fort Fiends Dot Net for getting that straightened out! Thank you!

 

Let's journey on.

 

We had just taken a walkthrough of the unspectacular Saratoga Springs. Since we were in the area, we decided to take a ride through the Treehouse Villas area, as that place has some history to it. As I understand it, the Treehouse Villas were opened in 1975, closed in 2002, and then reopened in 2009. I guess the place is interesting from a historical perspective, but that's about it.

 

The property around the treehouses isn't themed at all. It's actually quite the opposite -- every effort was made to preserve the woods surrounding each treehouse. So you know what that means?

 

Booooooring.

 

No topiaries? No arcade? No massive food court? No mega pool? No slides? No lounge?

 

No thank you.

 

But I knew as we were cruising through this place that some fiends would be disappointed if I didn't snap some photos, so here you go:

 

Here we are, driving along the road:

 

 

One thing to point out in the photo above -- you see how dense and green those woods are? That's how the woods at the Fort used to be. Just like it. With the woods thick and high like that, the Fort felt much, much bigger and had a greater...what's the word...mystery to it. With all that green stuff chopped down, you can see right through one end of a loop to the other.

 

The illusion is dispelled.

 

Like the Man Behind the Curtain.

 

Here you can see one of the treehouses through the foliage:

 

 

And here's a much better view:

 

 

OK...now I'm going to go ahead and mention the giant elephant in the room...

 

Those are not treehouses.

 

They're just ugly, blocky, tacky 1970s buildings up on posts.

 

Normally I would ask the rhetorical, smart-aleck question: "Why did they bother reopening these things?" but we all know the answer: Because there are marks willing to rent them.

 

Anyway, here's another photo of the brush:

 

 

That's pretty much all there is to look at back here: Ugly, blocky buildings on posts and central Florida swampland. No flowers, no ice cream parlors, no pirates, no Goofy in an astronaut suit, no Goofy on water skis, no Goofy dressed up as Darth Vader, nothing.

 

You know what that means?

 

Skip it!

 

I mean, seriously -- how hard is it to get a Goofy over here? There are armies of Goofies in the Magic Kingdom; just have one pop over here from time to time to liven things up.

 

Goofy makes everything better.

 

I bet Goofy could spruce things up in North Korea.

 

Actually, they already have him!

 

 

Look at his ass! That is one bad ass Goofy! Disney, move over! See? They solved the problem of the creepy, automated moving mouth of the characters in suits by sewing it shut! That Kim Jong Un guy is all about solving problems. He's all about solutions.

 

So, OK, fine -- that Goofy is a bit weak. But it's better than no Goofy:

 

 

The "treehouses" may not have a Goofy, but they do have a boring, grownup swimming pool:

 

 

That's a swimming pool that those boring, forty-something women who read Redbook magazine like. And then when they're done reading the Redbook, they lay their head back and bake in the sun.

 

We realized we were in danger of being bored to death, so I got us the hell out of there. Back to the Fort!

 

But before we could make a safe getaway, Mrs. Troll saw the sign for that Old Key West place.

 

Let's be clear about something: I grew up in South Florida. I love South Florida.

 

I hate Key West.

 

Key West sucks.

 

All it has is a bunch of rundown, outdoor, hot, humid bars that serve those frozen drinks out of those sideways blender machines that you can see through. And all those bars just play one song, over and over again: Margaritaville. And there are lots of drunk 50-something-year-old women, desperately trying to look 20, wearing rolled-up-on-the-sides cowboy hats and screaming, "Woooooooooo!" and "Salt! Salt! Salt!" when it comes to that part in the song.

 

That's it. If you've never been to Key West, now you have. I just took you there.

 

Needless to say, there is no Key West Goofy.

 

So here's your tour of the Key West DVC:

 

 

That's it. That's all you need to see, because, you see, just like the real Key West, the fake DVC one sucks.

 

Up next, we get back to the Fort and I need a drink.

[h2odivers...Ray 952]

I think you were holding back a little bit abut how much you didn't like the tree houses. It's ok your among friends. Let it out.

The university of oklahoma sooners actually were know as the boomers for a short period of time.

Also not all sooners were thieves, cheats, and liars. Some where lawmen, railroad workers, and others who were legally in the unclaimed territories.

But I do agree that the Boomer state would have been better.

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

Man, you really did some exploring on this trip.

 

Few people will remember this, but his photo reminds me of the Fort in days gone by:

 

 

That is what the Fort campsites looked like when I first began to visit the Fort.

 

You couldn't see from site to site.

 

Your site was surrounded by a solid wall of vegetation.

 

You didn't have to worry about people with multiple bird cages setting up pseudo Gypsy camps around their sites- there was no way that they could.

 

I miss the old Fort.

 

TCD

[CCIntrigue...aka Gwen 547]

Man, you really did some exploring on this trip.

 

Few people will remember this, but his photo reminds me of the Fort in days gone by:

 

 

That is what the Fort campsites looked like when I first began to visit the Fort.

 

You couldn't see from site to site.

 

Your site was surrounded by a solid wall of vegetation.

 

You didn't have to worry about people with multiple bird cages setting up pseudo Gypsy camps around their sites- there was no way that they could.

 

I miss the old Fort.

 

TCD

 

I remember, and I miss it too!

[The Troll 67]

I think you were holding back a little bit abut how much you didn't like the tree houses. It's ok your among friends. Let it out.

The university of oklahoma sooners actually were know as the boomers for a short period of time.

Also not all sooners were thieves, cheats, and liars. Some where lawmen, railroad workers, and others who were legally in the unclaimed territories.

But I do agree that the Boomer state would have been better.

 

The treehouses suck. The beignets suck. The SS sucks. Plenty more stuff in this report will earn the grade, "Sucks!" I guarantee you!

 

Boomer State! Oklahoma does NOT suck.

 

Man, you really did some exploring on this trip.

 

Few people will remember this, but his photo reminds me of the Fort in days gone by:

 

 

That is what the Fort campsites looked like when I first began to visit the Fort.

 

You couldn't see from site to site.

 

Your site was surrounded by a solid wall of vegetation.

 

You didn't have to worry about people with multiple bird cages setting up pseudo Gypsy camps around their sites- there was no way that they could.

 

I miss the old Fort.

 

TCD

 

Yep. Mind you, I wasn't around during the phase you documented in another thread where weeds and potato vines were eating the place up, so I agree that that had to be straightened out...but I suspect they may have taken the cleanup a bit too far. Hopefully it'll fill back in over time, but how long can it take? Our first trip here as adults was three years ago now, and it still looks mostly just as bare.

 

I remember, and I miss it too!

 

Me, three.

[The Troll 67]

I'm a bit surprised no one chimed in to defend the Treehouse Villas. Good. That means we can move on.

By the way, before we proceed, thanks to everyone who's still reading along and commenting! Readers and comments are what make a trip report!

As I mentioned, we escaped the Old, Dated Key West resort and made our way back to our beloved Fort. It was time to spend some time with Mr. Crockett. While we were sipping libations, I decided to sneak away to snap a few photos.

Look! It's Honey Boo Boo!

I don't care what you or anyone else says, I like Honey Boo Boo. I think she's cute and funny. Some mean people on the Internet say she's annoying, obnoxious, blah, blah, blah, but Honey Boo Boo gets the Troll Stamp of Approval.

This little girl was really enjoying the swing with her dad/granddad:

Here's a depth of field experiment:

This fence that protects the drainage ditch by the playground seems like it's been newly refreshed:

Speaking of the playground, there was some activity:

It can be fun to sit back and watch the kids have fun. The real little ones can be particularly funny.

A random dude on a Segway came rolling up:

He was not with a tour group or anything, he was just enjoying his Segway.

Remember that photo theme I was working on that I called Unique Perspectives? Well, here's a Unique Perspective:

I bet in the entire history of Walt Disney World, this photo, from this angle, has never been shot until now. See? I'm a trendsetter. If you want fresh, original content, you need to subscribe to Troll Trip Reports. You think you're going to get photos like that in a TDD report?

No.

Here's another Unique Perspective:

I'm sure you've seen that picnic table a zillion times...but from that angle?!?

Here's a nothing special photo...other than it was taken at the Fort. That makes it special:

I think this one is a tad bit better:

I like this photo:

I don't think this one is too shabby, either:

Mrs. Troll wondered something interesting the other day -- she wondered how many rental boat accidents occur here at Bay Lake every year. I bet a lot. But not too many that Disney gets rid of the rental boats.

There were folks waiting for the boat to go to Mickey's Pay $65 for Free Candy party:

I think everyone is probably aware that TCD and his crew were here during a chunk of this trip. So I had a few opportunities to catch up with him. I always pretend not to like Andrew when writing reports and suggest that there's a rivalry of sorts between us, but that's all just a joke. I like Andrew very much and really enjoy reading his reports.

Andrew is who inspired me to write trip reports. Some people say I'm a cheap ripoff of him. I'm kind of like the North Korean Goofy.

Anyway, Andrew told me he and his girls went to the Not So Scary Halloween party and they liked it a lot. Mrs. Troll and I have never been, so I really can't comment. But I like to say trollish things about it anyway because, well, you know why.

Check out this girl:

What is she wearing, a Mr. Peanut suit?

This guy seemed intrigued by all the adults making fools of themselves having all this fun:

I bet he was like, "I wish I was going to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party. Instead I have to stand around here and guard these boats that no one is renting. If I was going to that party, I'd go as Chewbacca."

Here is the MK boat, returning with a load of people who had just been happily kicked out of the park to make way for the girl dressed up as Mr. Peanut:

Ahhhh:

Who can spot the thing the Troll disapproves of in this photo:

Here's another Unique Perspective:

Settlement Trading Post:

One thing that has always made me wonder is why the Settlement Trading Post is so inferior to the Meadows Trading Post. Meadows has so much more merchandise to choose from, yet this is such a high traffic area. You'd think one of Disney's evil bean counters in its dark dungeons would realize this fact and propose that the Settlement Trading Post be expanded.

I guess all the bean counters are preoccupied, crunching DVC numbers right now.

All right, look, fiends, I want props for this:

Get to propping!

And I want bonus props for this:

Gotta love it.

OK, here's another Unique Perspective:

Who can guess what it is? TCD, Lou, Santa Claus Guy, and Devores are NOT allowed to guess.

Here's my beautiful bride from about 200 yards away. Notice how concerned she is about where I've disappeared to:

Here we have a gateway for Mr. Black and Mr. Decker:

The wagon's canvas cover is in desperate need of repair:

That's an extreme no-no, Ms. Whatever Your Name Is Who Manages the Fort. You need to call a mobile seamstress to get this made right!

As far back as my memory can reach -- and that's a long way -- I can always remember there being roses in the Settlement. So it's with great pleasure that I still see them there now:

Let's zoom out and see how many there are:

Oh, yeah -- and checkers. As far as i can remember, there have always been roses and checkers at the Fort:

I have a question: Why does this site have a photo limit? And why does it have a limit on how many quote blocks you can post per post?

I think I'm at the limit.

Up next, I have many more of these Settlement photos to share. And still to come in the Troll Trip Report -- the Trolls visit Tom Sawyer Island, the Trolls have lunch at Be Our Guest, the Trolls visit Typhoon Lagoon, the Trolls pig out at the Epcot Food and Wine Festival, and so much more! This trip is only getting started!

[alexwyattmommy 181]

Are you sure that girl wasn't the yellow brick road?

[alexwyattmommy 181]

Oh and lawn mower pieces

[Tankpilot 9]

I screwed up the quote feature but I am guessing you disapprove of the double stroller.

[h2odivers...Ray 952]

Props on the pix.

Don't know what Mrs. the Troll disapproves of.

Is the gear and metal piece part of the old railroad?

[mouseketab.....Carol 1,261]

I'm guessing the little bit that is left of the old lawnmower under the lawnmower stump

[CCIntrigue...aka Gwen 547]

I'm guessing the little bit that is left of the old lawnmower under the lawnmower stump

 

That's what I thought too.

[Beckers 1,136]

Props on the sign and the checkers photo. I like.

[DramaMama .......... Janet 75]

One thing that has always made me wonder is why the Settlement Trading Post is so inferior to the Meadows Trading Post. Meadows has so much more merchandise to choose from, yet this is such a high traffic area. You'd think one of Disney's evil bean counters in its dark dungeons would realize this fact and propose that the Settlement Trading Post be expanded.

I kind of like that the "good" stuff is at the Meadows.  The Settlement seems so much more public - there for those people who only come to the Fort to see Hoop De Doo and don't stay to take advantage of everything the Fort has to offer.  The Meadow Trading Post is "ours"!

[thecplusplusguy 7]

Ok, Now I'm caught up.  

 

I was young single digits, but am I remembering right when I remember a time when the Fort had dirt roads.  

 

I remember riding rented bikes on the dirt roads.  It was in the 70's

 

Dan

[Nicki aka Rebelstand 272]

Go Trolls...

[Tri-Circle-D 2,059]

I screwed up the quote feature but I am guessing you disapprove of the double stroller.

 

That's my guess too.

 

Norm- my compliments on all of the unique perspective shots in that last update.

 

Outstanding!  I especially liked the Lawnmower Tree one.

 

I believe you're back home now.  Sucks to be the Troll.

 

TCD

[GaDawgFan.....Kelly 799]

I like the pictures. They kind of remind me of my boyfriend Josh over at easywdw.com. You can make fun of me for liking him since Lou isn't around to do it anymore.

 

Have you mentioned what camera you're using?